Chasing Wattpad

On writing, or even better, not writing.

I've not written a word in weeks. I get that way sometimes. It's not that I don't have stuff to write about, or even time to write, I just fight it. I have no idea why that is. What I do know, however, is that it has gotten worse since I joined Wattpad. 

I don't get writers block. The words, for what they are worth, are always there. I once sat down and wrote 17,000 words in one sitting. I guess I am just moody about writing. Damn moody sometimes. I can sit and write for days on end without stopping. Stories, emails, letters, my daughter's homework...anything. Then all of a sudden I am not writing. The words just pile up in my head for a day and I dismiss them later. I get tense when that happens. I just don't feel like putting the words down. 

It's almost like a writer's depression. I am not depressed. I don't ever really remember ever being depressed. But I think my writing world gets depressed sometimes. Things don't feel right in it. I shut out the words and sometimes wish they would just leave alone. I fight the inclination to sit at the computer and write. The feeling to write annoys me. I should be writing because I feel like I have something to express, but I don't want to. 

I think I have lost a lot of stories this way. I hope I find my way back to some of them sometimes. Some of them were pretty cool. 

During times like this I do read a lot to fight the urge to write. Too much actually. Just finished re-reading Lonesome Dove, and at 870 pages I felt it was not nearly enough to satisfy my hunger. I read the sequel to that "Streets of Laredo" after that and am still at it. I get crazy into reading to avoid writing. Not that I don't read otherwise. I do read often, but never with a hunger like I do when I don't want to sit down and write. I have 400 books in my library in my living room with my favorite books. I also have 3 large boxes of "to be read later" books in my garage. I get most of my books from BnN but find a good chunk of them at book sales at libraries or garage sales. 

I don't blame Wattpad for my writing vacations, but I think I wrote more before Wattpad. Before I thought I was writing just for me. Now I think I am writing for other reasons and that triggers these things. 

Some of you feel the same. I see dozens of emails (messages to all follower from...) with reasons why you are not writing. Things like "Sorry I haven't been around...taking exams...busy with this or that...blah blah blah...". Stop making up so many excuses. The truth is sometimes you don't feel like writing. That is okay. That will pass. You don't have to always fight it. Writing vacations can be good things. One of my favorite things to say is "Take time to write. But not so much that you do not have time to experience something worth writing about". Get off the computer sometimes Wattpaders. It's good for you. 

Well this writing vacation is over. I obviously feel it is okay to write again. It feels good.