chapter fifty

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“My master had no family, no wife, nor a son, not even a bastard. So he dedicated his time to teaching me how to read and write. After six months of continuous practicing I became an expert in book recording. I worked for him for six years but before he died he gave me my freedom,” Hackit said turning to Iyila. She wasn’t listening to him and her expression seemed distant as if her mind was occupied.

“Iyila?” he called but she didn’t say a word, “Iyila!” he yelled. “Yes, what is it you were saying?” she quicky answered shocked. “Your mother was very beaitiful you said...” her eyes fluttered. Flabagasted, Hackit laughed. “Obviously, you have not been listening to me! Where is your mind?” She scratched her head,  “here.” she simply said apologetically.

“Apparently, it does not seem so, what are you thinking of?” he questioned as they walked deeper into the bush. Iyila looked at him, she couldn’t tell him that she was thinking of Gabriel. She couldn’t tell him that she was worried that Gabriel hadn’t opposed the idea of him taking her to see the bed of roses everyone spoke of. Do as you please had been the exact words he had answered when she had asked for his permission that morning. He hadn’t flared up as she had anticipated or even frowned. She worried that his expression had been neutral and nonchalant. Did he not care about her, was she just his Negro?

“You worry a lot,” Hackit said, lightly jabbing her shoulder. She managed a chuckle her mind still on Gabriel. She had felt that he would be jealous or angry but Gabriel was none of that. Perhaps Hackit was right, she worried too much. Perhaps she was being unnecessarily grumpy. Perhaps Gabriel had come to trust her or even respect her, she told herself.

She inwardly groaned, she hated these probablities. She preferred his open show of emotion. It was easier to deal with. “How old are you Iyila?” Hackit asked. His question stunned her, she didn’t see the relevance of her age to their discussion. “Nineteen.”

“Nineteen!” he chuckled. “Yes nineteen, is that amusing?” Hackit shook his head, “No but you look as though you are older than that, you should think less Iyila, life is too short,” he said. She agreed with him, life was too short, but was it possible for her not to worry, it was an engraved part of her. She’d learnt how to worry even before she picked her first cotton.

“Come along, race with me,” he said and rushed away. “Hackit, I cannot do this, I am not in the right mood for this,” Iyila said. She was tired of everything. She was appreciative of his plan to brighten her mood, but she generally wasn't feeling fit at all. Hackit paused and folded his arms. “You are too dull today, you were very spirited yesterday, what is it?” he suspiciously asked.

Iyila sighed, she just wanted to see inside Gabriel’s head, to know how he felt about her. She was tired of assuming. “I wish we would return to the village. She dully said, but Hackit wasn’t taking no for an answer she noticed.

“Are you afraid that I might beat you?” he bragged. She chuckled, she knew he was tempting her. As far she knew, she was the best runner. She always came out victorious even against boys back then.  “Do not ask for what you cannot handle," she warned and he laughed. “I will take my chances,” he nodded. “I warned you,” she as she walked to him.

“You just dared the champion herself,” she screamed and rushed off before he could understand her motives. “That’s not fair. You are cheat, I wasn’t prepared,” he groaned behind.

She laughed “There is no such thing as fairness,” she yelled as she ran faster. She laughed as she heared him groan and murmur and complain. He was calling her name but she didn’t bother to turn. She’d warned him.

She ran until she couldn’t hear a single noise except the fast breeze in her ears, not even her legs against the earth was audible. She felt like she was flying. It reminded her off herself when she was younger. Instead of crying or nursing her pain, she would run until she was tired and gasping for air. Her hair flew with the wind as memories of her childhood began to flood into her head. She managed to shut them out before they could consume her. It was in her past now. There was no use thinking about it. She ran through the flowers and far into the woods, she was running until she remembered she wasn’t running alone. When she turned and she noticed that Hackit wasn’t behind. Shocked, she paused to catch her breath. Looking around she noticed that she was somewhere entirely different. She was in a shady wood with owls hanging to the trees like pegs. “Hackit” she screamed, frightened, spinning around to see if he was around but no reply came.

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