I should have gone straight to bed, drunk myself blind or poured out my heart to a friend following my most awful day ever.
I didn't. Instead, in an uncharacteristically evil moment, I imparted the worst possible advice to a would-be writer I secretly disliked.
Avoid the word said following dialogue. Be descriptive. Use plenty of adverbs.
In short, I told her to do all the things a writer ought not to do.
She wrote an erotic novel, following my advice. It became a bestseller.
I went to bed with a bottle of wine and a friend's phone number.
