Anything For A Kiss {Discont.}

Anything For A Kiss

Alexis

I was looking at him from far distant. Micheal Mathews. His dark brown, almost black eyes concentrating hardly at the problem he is trying to fix. His tanned muscular arms flexing as he reaches to get the ball off from his opponent and his jaw tensing as he lunges using his smart thinking to successfully retrieve the ball.God it's a mere sin for someone to be as good-looking as him and smart at the same time. 

'

That's how I used to remember of him - strong, athletic geek.  And to think that he was once all mine. Oh, what I would do to get him back in my arms right here and now. I wish he was still mine. But then again what you want is something that you cannot have. He didn't want me then and now I don't want him.

'

You might be thinking at this moment: is she some sort of desperate stalker? Well to answer that question I will say that I am not a stalker even though I quite frankly sound like one as I'm... let's say 'concentrating' at my ex very intensely through thoughts and remembrance.

'

You know love? That undeniable feeling, that force that makes you feel like the person you're with is the one person you want to be with for the rest of your life? Well, let's just say that I thought Micheal was the 'one' who would treasure that so-called 'undeniable force'.

'

But turns out I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't beautiful enough. What was his words again? "Alex let's get one thing straight, its not like you're some kind of exotic beauty." Those words, they weren't words at all but little sharp diamonds scratching away the feelings that I had for him. And the worst part was that when he broke up with me, he didn't understand that he broke away a piece of my heart as well. Oh, how I still wish to feel the warmth of his comforting hugs and hear him whisper in my ears those same words that I had surrendered myself in believing: LOVE.

'

He was so perfect, while, I was considered by everyone else as not - I was the "ugly outcast". We were known as the couple who didn't fit - we were asymmetrical.  I was after all the girl next door who had long silky red hair and green eyes, which were always covered by big geeky glasses. I know you all must be thinking that it's a wondrous mixture of a Greek but innocent Goddess. But let me tell you one thing, it did not suite me well at all. I was innocent for sure, but I wasn't beautiful nor pretty. It was a insecurity that marched its way to my heart reminding me that I wasn't worth it. 

 '

The girls at Bridge Manner High always used to glare at me with not envy but pity. Pity from the fact that I was ugly and pity for the man who so claims to be in love with me. But hey, looks aren't always everything is it?

'

I mean those sluts will most probably become sluts at the end of the day won't they? They'll be one of those desperate hookers that would need pay at the end of the day won't they? I may not be 'pretty' nor 'beautiful' but I still was smart and I still had Micheal is my side... He used to be so warm-hearted and considerate but then one day after all that affection he started to listen to the popular crowd; we started to drift apart and for some reason I had to let that happen. I wanted to see would he really leave me.

'

I don't know what made me realise but I guess the thought of having a relationship whether it was intimate or just a fling was a distraction. Micheal always used to call me and ask me to go to small meaningless dates and well... it had a bad knock on affect on my results. What used to be considered as a good result turned into satisfactory, I was falling behind; behind from my dreams, another step down.