Love vs. Lust

(44) Love vs. Lust

Love vs. Lust

Chapter 44

I looked over at my bedside clock and saw that it was after one in the morning. A feeling of guilt overwhelmed me as I realized how worried Cole must have been.

“I’m sorry for taking off like that, I… I just had to see him,” I stuttered, trying to stay in control of my emotions.

“It’s ok, I understand,” Cole replied, smiling sadly at me causing my heart to break some more. I could see how much he loves me and I honestly love him too.

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that though,” I stated, knowing that what I did was wrong.

“You were overwhelmed, I probably would have reacted in the same way if I were you,” Cole said, obviously trying to make me feel better.

“Why are you being so nice to me? I don’t deserve it.” I asked, unable to look at him

“Because I love you Gabby,” he replied, his voice full of emotion.

I didn’t reply immediately and an awkward silence filled the room as I just stood there scanning through my memories of me and him. I was stupid for reacting the way I did when I found out about Reagan being pregnant. I should have listened to him, I should have let him explain, then maybe none of this would have happened and we would have been happy but I couldn’t get myself to regret it. If I didn’t freak out that day I never would have met Gordon.

I love Gordon and I probably always will but I love Cole too, maybe even more, I wasn’t sure. The one thing that I was sure about is that Gordon wasn’t going to wake up. I couldn’t be with him even if I chose him but I could be with Cole. I can give myself to him completely and make him happy because there was no doubt in my mind that I love him. I was wrong before when I said I didn’t, I think I was just trying to deny the facts because he hurt me and I was confused.

“Do you still have the ring?” I asked as I walked over to him, having made my decision. I wasn’t going to let my mixed up feelings get in between us. Cole said that he understood why I acted the way I did and I wasn’t going to punish him anymore. I was going to give him all of me. Getting over Gordon was going to be hard but with Cole by my side I had no doubt that it was possible.

“Yea,” he replied, sounding confused at my question.

“Can I still have it?” I asked, sounding a lot braver then I felt.

“Nothing would make me happier,” Cole stated as he dug the little box out of his jacket pocket.

I looked down at my hands and noticed the pink plastic ring with the red heart on my ring finger. I had put it there before I knew where I had gotten it from but now that I knew it was even more fitting that I had put it on that finger. I wore it all the time, I even had it on the night Gordon and I went out with Shelby and Walter, the night he had given her the diamond ring, the night Gordon had tried to kill himself. I only took it off because I had messed some coffee on it and was planning to clean it before putting it back on.

Gordon won the ring at the arcade and had slipped it onto my ring finger. I was surprised but delighted at the same time. I asked him why he had put it on that finger and he said that it was as a promise that one day he will buy me a ring as beautiful as me to ask me to marry him.

“Gabby?” Cole asked, worriedly. I looked up at him and watched as he moved his hand to my face and wiped away a tear. I didn’t even notice that I was crying up until now.

“Are you sure about this?” Cole asked. He didn’t sound angry or upset, just worried about me.

“Yes,” I replied, pulling the plastic ring off of my finger and placing it in my jeans pocket.

“Why was it on that finger?” he asked softly.

“It was a promise that one day he would buy me a beautiful ring and ask me to marry him,” I answered, looking up to see his reaction. He looked a bit shocked and it took him a few seconds before he took my right hand and slipped the ring on one of my fingers.

“This is a promise that when I know you are ready I will put it on your other finger and ask you to marry me,” Cole stated, looking deep into my eyes.

My heart skipped a beat as he said those words. I didn’t know how to react though so I looked down at my hand and the big sparkling ring. It fit me perfectly and it looked beautiful. It must have cost him a fortune.

I took a deep breath and looked back up at him. I had something I needed to tell him, something he had to know.

“I love you,” I whispered, looking into his eyes. It was the first time I have ever said those words to him but I needed to say them out loud, I wanted him to know how I feel about him.

His eyes lit up with pleasure as his lips turned up into a smile.

“You love me,” he stated but it sounded more like a question.

“Yes, I love you,” I replied, saying the words again.

“I love you too, but you already know that,” Cole chuckled as he stepped forward, closing the space between us. He cupped my face in his hand and gently pressed his lips against mine. It was a soft kiss but it was filled with emotion.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body against his as I deepened the kiss. He groaned with pleasure as I did this and moved his hands around my waist, gripping my bum and lifting me up. I wrapped my legs around his body as he started placing kisses down my neck. He carried me over to the bed and put me down, lying half way on top of me.

We have made love before but something about this time was different. Maybe it’s because I finally admitted how much I truly love him.

His lips moved back up my neck and found my lips. I pulled him closer and kissed him passionately as his hands moved down my body. I could feel myself getting excited as he gripped my shirt and started pulling it up. His touch was electrifying, causing me to wrap my legs around his body.

“Gabby!” Conner called from outside my bedroom door as he started knocking on it. Both Cole and I sat up straight and stared at the door for a second before moving. I could feel myself starting to panic as I jumped off of the bed and ran over to the door.