If I Were A Serial Killer...

On TV, I watch all these shows about serial killers. Criminal Minds is my personal favorite. Watching this show kind of makes me paranoid, because now, wherever I go, I'm always afraid someone is going to try to kill me. It sounds a bit stupid, I know, but you can never be too careful.

The thing that scares me more than anything is the thought of being murdered by a serial killer. The regular killers-however ironic that sounds-don't scare me a fourth as much as serial killers. I mean, these kinds of killers have a TYPE. They go after specific people. And I would never know if I fit the killers' type, because, in all probability, I'd be dead. I could handle being killed by a regular murderer, because, if that ever happened, I probably would have done something wrong, or misjudged a person.

Another thing that terrifies me is the theory that some serial killers like to get close to their victims, get to know them before slaughtering them. I've read somewhere that one in four of everyone I know has the mind of a serial killer. Not that they'd become one, just that they could if they wanted to. What the heck, maybe I'm that one.

Every time I'm alone in the dark, walking away from someone, or even walking with a bunch of people, it feels like someone is watching me. I'm almost positive, that if you're reading this, you've felt this at one point in your life. You are curious, and you want to know more. That's why I'm here; to dig deeper into an unknown world that would otherwise remain a mystery.

I'm putting myself into the mind of a serial killer.

CHAPTER ONE

"Look down on me, you will see a fool. Look up at me, you will see your Lord. Look straight at me, you will see yourself." - Charles Manson

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If I were a serial killer, I think my "type" would be something like perfection. I'd go after the people with perfect body parts.

First, I would go out and find a man with perfect hair, hair that hadn't been styled or planned out. I would choose a man because God created a man first. And, yes, I would believe in God, so if I did get arrested, I could say that He made me kill people.

I'd say that He put me on this earth to show Man that there is no such thing as perfection, that I was here to ruin it. To rid the earth of those people who believed they were perfect, so others could be pleased with themselves.

After I had chosen my man, I would make chloroform. Right now, I'm not exactly sure how, but you can find anything on Google. Since I'm a woman, and if this ever happened, it'd probably be in my twenties or thirties, since that's when many serial killers are "born", I'd use my charms to ask him on a date. I think I'd prefer to be a serial killer that knows who my victims are, at least their names, what they do for a living, and what they like. I think it would make killing them more satisfying.

Once the date was over, I would kiss him good-night, and run my hands through his perfect hair. I would watch him get in his car, watch him drive away, and follow him home. I would get my homemade chloroform out from a hiding spot in my car, and breathe deeply, inhaling the faint scent of it, but not enough to knock me out. I'd also grab a gun I'd stashed with the chemical. I'd soak a rag, then go up to the front door. After knocking, he would come to the door, and open it, after looking through his peephole. He would be pleased to see me, although a little surprised. I would be hiding the rag behind my back. He would invite me inside, because I was acting flustered, and saying that I was lost, and didn't have a cell phone. Perhaps, after closing the door, this is where I would allow my screw-up. After all, every killer has at least one.

My phone would ring. He would freeze, his back towards me, and I would pull out my gun. He would try to turn around, but my gun would be pressed to his head, and I would growl at him not to move, and before he could pull anything, I would press the sopping rag to his mouth. The last thing he would hear before passing out would be Marilyn Manson's Sweet Dreams... Oh, the irony!

By the time that he would wake up, he would be tied to a chair in the basement of my house. As he awoke, I would be in front of him, and he would say that I wouldn't get away with it, that the police would find evidence. I would then say that they wouldn't find evidence in a burnt house, would they? His eyes would go wide, and then he would slump in the chair, realizing that his last chance for rescue was gone. He would never know that I had never actually torched his house.

Then I would pull out a tray of surgical instruments. They wouldn't be real surgical instruments, though. They'd be things from around the house. Try using your imagination. A steak knife. One of those things you use to drop batter. A fork. Cleaning chemicals. Anything that usually wouldn't be dangerous, but under the right circumstances, strikes fear into one's heart.

I would select from my kit a sharp knife, one so sharp it was almost like a scalpel. He would freak out, thrashing, and struggling like a dolphin caught in a fishing net. But he would soon discover that the chair was bolted to the floor, and he wouldn't be able to move it.

I would start my procedure by removing his perfect hair, scalp and all, and placing it in a freezer. If he was still alive then, if he hadn't bled out, then I would cut his throat. A mercy killing, almost, if it hadn't been me to make him in need of one.

Now, this is where I would be different than all the other serial killers. I wouldn't dump the bodies of my victims. I would keep them. I would have a meat freezer, and I would dump the body in there. My reasoning behind this is that every serial killer that dumped bodies got caught. There was always a meaning in the spot where they were left. For instance, if they were left in an open field, the killer was lost, and didn't want to be found. If it was in a busy city, the killer was mocking the police. I never thought those profiles were correct, but who's to know but the killer themselves?

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A/N: So if you've read far enough into the story to get this far, thanks!! Comment and let me know if you like it, or if you find any spelling errors... Those are my little "pet peeve" so point them out!! Hope you aren't terribly disturbed by my mind:D