Da ride bck home woz so ded. Da silence woz so tense, I ddnt kno if i cud tke it. Wen we arived home i waited 4 him 2 open his door n den i opened minez n climbed out. I wz so nervus. I folowed him up 2 da frnt door n he opened it he held it open 4 me bt wudnt look @ me. I wanted 2 turn around n run away, as far as posible, i wnted 2 run in2 ma past n chnge evryting...bt dat wudnt hapen. I walked in n jus stood der. He closed da door.
'So, ill ask agen, iz it tru?' he sed firmly
'Look ricardo, i love u. An i fort u luved me aswel-'
'U kno dat i luv u n hav alwayz loved u, an ill probably love u 4 aslng as i liv but at da end of da day i need 2 trust u n protect u. U kno dat nuffin on dis earth cud eva cause me 2 b unatracted 2 u or fall outa love wit u. Ur ma wifey man n im gnna make u ma WIFE legally as soon as i gt outta dis game. All i wnna do iz save up as much p as posible n den evryting wil b bless, u gt me..it will b me n u das it' he sed, tears formin in his eyes.
'I luv u 2 ricardo, im jus....scared' i replied, tears rollin dwn ma cheekz
'Scared of wot? scared of wot i mite fink? I dnt care ye. Leme tell u a story ye. Has shanice eva tld u y we liv in ds house by ourselves nw?'
'No' I replied. Ricardo n shanice lived in a spacious 4 bedroom house all by dem selves. I jus clocked.
'Because ma mum woz a crack head prostitute n ma dad woz a drug dealin pimp ye. Ma mum woz 15 wen she had me n 17 or 18 wen she had shanice. She met ma dad at da age of 14. He woz 23. He woz a drug king pin in da 'hood' bck in da days. Sold evryting u cud fink of. Him n mumz relationship woz goin gd. She ran away 4rm hme 2 liv wit him, dey had kidz n lived happily. She had evryting at er fingatipz. Money, cars, clothes, Drugz. But she wernt alowed 2 touch da drugz. But of course, ppl r fass up n curious n coz she woz yung n dumb she decided 2 put er fingas wher dey wernt meant 2 b. On a big old rock of crack. Nw u kno afta dat first lik iz nxt 2 imposible 2 stop. So, to mke a lng story short she licked dat pipe n cudnt stop. Wen ma dad found out he went mad n beat her ass until she woz blck n blu. He locked er in da attic 4 a week. He called it 'king-pin rehabilitation'. We cud hear her screamin n cryin. Tryin 2 scratch her way outta da ropes 2 gt anuva hit.
Afta da week woz up, i guess ma dad fort she woz sum wot cured n she cme outta der. A few months went past n den wot did she do, she licked it agen but dis time she licked da pipe n shot up sum heroin afta 2 stop da agitated feelin n 2 relax er. But da didnt work 4 long. She woz loosin weight by da minute! so insted of da king pin rehab project, Dad sed 2 er 'U wnna smoke crak, u gonna work 4 it. Dis iz da ghetto bitch. Nufin iz free' N wit dat, he strted pimpin er lyk all his ova hoes. She wud disapear 4 days n cum bck beat up or jus strung out on da drugs. She acted happy but cum on, hu woz happy wen dey had 2 suck dick jus 2 gt a peice of rock cocaine which woz da size of ur thumb nail n dun in 2 or 3 pullz. She kept chasin dat hi 4 yrs. Dad didnt care. Me n shanice woz in skool doin well n evryting. we wud c er on occasions n she wud beg us 4 sum money. I neva gve her a penny but i kno shanice did. So der it iz...dat woz da begginin of ma lyf so NUFIN u tell me will shock me. Im tellin u, nuthin shocks or suprises me nemor!'
I jus stood der in so much shock. I cudnt believe ricardo woz tellin me al dis. I rememba his dad 4rm bck in da dayz bt he woz so nice n frendly n wotnot.
'So, r u gnna tell me?' ricardo asked cutin in2 ma thoughts
'Ricardo, i gt 1 abortion an das it. But dat woz da onli abortion ive eva had. I duno wher dat prick woz goin abat 4!!. Ive slept around abit aswel, but ive used protection atleast 90% of da tym. Iaint proud of da tingz i bin up 2 bt at da end of da day iz al in da past n i luv u so much n ive bin in denial all dese yrs. I wish i cud turn bck da clock soo badly but i cnt n evryting happens 4 a reason. But im so srry dt u had 2 find out lyk dis'
Ricardo stood der starin at me, his face expressionless. I gt scared dat he mite tell me 2 gt ma tingz n step, but sudenly a smile spred acros his face. It wasnt a big smile, it woz kina weak, bt it woz a gd sign.
'Lyk i sed befre b, i luv u 2 def n nuffin dt hapened in da past cn chnge dat. Ur da 1 4me n nufin n no1 cn chnge dat. Ur so beautiful n sexc i cnt wait til we hav kidz n gt maried n mke a propa lyf. I wud drop dwn on ma knee ryt nw wit a ring but i need 2 gt outa dis ting we call da 'game'. I dnt wnna tie u dwn wit me n ma problemz by marryin u nw. But i wnt u 2 hav dis' Ricardo took off 1 of da mny ringz he had on his finga, his favorite ring, 'iz a promise ring, i promise dat i wil luv u n onli u 4 as lng as i liv n i also promise i wil marry u n mke u happy'