Thanks for the Memories

Even Though They Bring Me Pain

Yes, I'm aware that's not the real lyric. But it works for the story and chapter titles are mandatory on Wattpad. Which is really stupid, to be honest. But hey, I got the right image to pop up because that's the thumbnail for the video. Whoop. But I'll shut up now. Ludwig's POV.

It was early in the morning. No later than five o'clock. I was keeping myself occupied with a book in the living room when I heard faint crying from the bedroom. It certainly wasn't Gilbert, he didn't cry audibly unless he was completely breaking down, and then you could hear him three blocks away, but Feliciano usually wasn't up yet. I set the book down on the coffee table, along with my glasses, and stood up from where I was laying on the couch, then walked quietly toward the sound.

Feliciano was curled up in a trembling ball of blanket on the bed. As I approached him, I could see that his eyes were shut, but tighter than usual, as though he were in pain, and tears leaked through them onto the blanket.

"Feliciano?" I said quietly. "Are you alright?"

Feliciano shook his head.

I sat down beside the Italian and pulled him up, blanket and all, holding him in my arms. "What is it?"

"I-it's nothing." Feliciano pulled his head into his cocoon slightly and wiped his nose and eyes. His voice quavered. He didn't lean into or away from me, he just sat there like a statue, which was odd. Normally he'd nearly push me over because he leaned in quickly, without warning, and caught me off-guard.

"I can tell it's not nothing," I told him. If something was wrong, I needed to know. I didn't like to see him like this. "Now tell me, what is it?"

Feliciano didn't respond.

I let go of Feliciano and sat down on the floor before him, staring him in the eye. He looked down at the blanket he was wrapped in, and refused to look up again.

"Feliciano Vargas, tell me what's wrong right now." I said firmly.

Nothing.

"That's an order."

Still nothing.

"You're expected to follow orders from your superiors."

Silence.

I sighed. "Do I have to get the cat to lick you?"

Feliciano shook his head. Well, that was something, at least. Not much, but something.

"Then tell me what's wrong. I'm worried about you." I said it before I thought about it, and realized that it was true quicker than I'd expected. Certainly quicker than I would have when I first met him, and back then I never would have admitted it.

Feliciano mumbled something into the blanket.

"I can't hear you."

He lifted his head, but his eyes stayed down. "I said I had a dream about him."

"Who?"

"A boy from when I was little. He was very kind to me, even if he was awkward and didn't really know what he was doing, and I . . ." Feliciano sighed. "I love him."

A lump rose in my throat. I quickly forced it down. "Why were you crying, though?"

"He left." Feliciano looked up at me, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. "He left and he never same back. He promised that he would, but, he didn't. He didn't even say goodbye."

I stared at Feliciano, then sat down next to him on the bed again and held him.

"He looked exactly like you." Feliciano murmured. One of his hands emerged from the blanket next to his head and held the fabric of my grey shirt. "That's why I was so quick to warm up to you, because you remind me of him. You act like him, too."

There was that damned lump again. I swallowed it before I spoke. "I'm sorry, Feliciano."

Feliciano nuzzled his head into my chest as I stroked his hair. "It's alright."

"But doesn't it make you sad, or something? Me being a constant reminder of this boy because I look like him-"

"Ludwig, it's okay. I've gotten used to it. Yeah, sure, sometimes when I see photos of you as a little kid it brings back painful memories, but you . . . You make me happier than I've ever been. You bring back good memories of things that we did together."

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent.

"I'm not really sure how to say it, but you're not him. You're different, somehow. No matter how much you remind me of him."

We were both quiet as I thought about what I wanted to say.

"I won't leave you." I whispered. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere, and if I do, I'll say goodbye." I kissed the top of Feliciano's head, and I could feel him smile. I smiled, too.

"Ti amo, Ludwig."

"Ich liebe dich auch, Feliciano."

Feliciano unwrapped himself from the blanket and pulled me back onto the bed.

"Feliciano, I have to get ready for work." I said with a small smile.

"Oh, come on, five minutes won't hurt." Feliciano kissed my nose.

I sighed. "Yeah, I guess so." I kissed Feliciano gently on the lips. He kissed back.It may have been longer than five minutes.