~Chapter 23~

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~Chapter 23~

Kent’s POV

“Hey Kent sugar, how ya doing?” questions a heavy set, dark skinned nurse named Luanne. Like every day this time I’m making my way down the hallway towards Blu’s room. I stop, and force a tight, fake smile and send it her way. Luanne is one of the kinder nurses I’ve met in my time here. Even though she’s really very sweet, after Blu’s up and moving I hope I don’t have to see her again, at least not here. I don’t ever want to set foot in another hospital after Blu’s awake.

“It’s getting easier.” I lie through the tight lipped smile. The plump woman frowns, seeing passed my false smile and mediocre charade.

“Just keep on keep’n on I guess.” Luanne’s voice is coated true sympathy, and in hearing it I have to swallow around a new golf ball sized lump that’s grown in my throat. Nodding weakly I throw a wave to her over my shoulder and continue walking.

“Amen,” I mutter under my breath. That’s all I can really do at this point; keep on keep’n on. Because when Blu wakes up he’s going to need a strong boyfriend to help him recover. Not a weak mess falling apart at the seams, something that I know I could easily become. I just can’t break. I need to push against the thick blackness that threatens to crush me and swallow me up. Somehow I need to keep my head above water so I don’t drown. I need to keep the madness at bay. For Blu, I’ll shoulder the weight for as long as possible.

Pushing open the all too familiar door I step into Blu’s temporary living space. There he lay, tiny fragile and frail in that huge, monstrous bed. I sigh, and a small part of the crushing weight on my chest lessens a little like it always does when I see him. I’m constantly nervous when I’m not around him. Sometimes it’s so bad that I have mini panic attacks. It’s really starting to scare my friends and family, but I know the symptoms won’t let up till Blu is awake again.

“Hello love,” I greet him like I do every other day. If he can somehow hear me under that thick layer of sleep, then I want him to know I’m here.

“Ready to do some more reading?” I ask my sleeping beauty. Of course he can’t my inquiry goes unanswered — it’s not like I expect to get a reply — but I ask it any way. I always do, it’s like I need my own voice to fill up the defining silence. Grabbing the dog-eared copying from its spot on Blu’s bed side table, I sit down in the chair that is forever pulled up next to his head. On our date by the river, that seems to have taken place a million years ago, Blu had confessed that he had always wanted to read the ‘Hunger Games’ books but had never gotten around to it. So, remembering this, I started reading the book out loud to him for about an hour a day a week ago. It was a nice break from babbling on unintelligently about my day in a one way conversation.

Flipping open to where I had left off last, I clear my throat, and begin my retelling of Katniss Everdeen’s adventures. In between paragraphs my eyes wonder from the ink covered pages to the unconscious boy in front of me. My eyes can’t stay away from his still form for too long. They’re like magnets drawn to the strongest of metals. Licking my thumb and pointer finger I turn the page and snap my green orbs to Blu. What I see — or think I see — makes everything still from my hands to my breath. The only thing that keeps moving is my heart, and it’s like humming birds wings, beating too fast in my chest.

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