Skinny Love

Chapter 1

I had a plan. A goal. It wasn't really a constructive one. It wasn't one I'd share with anyone, especially not my mother; if she was still alive, that is. That wasn't the point though. I'd made it into the bar so the hard part was over. Well the pub I'd picked had terrible security anyway but being a senior in high school still put me way below the age limitations. Sitting down at the bar and signaling the bartender I figured ordering alcohol would be pushing it a bit.

"What can I get you?" The big lumberjack looking bartender asked me while pounding his massive fist down on the bar. My eyes snapped upward toward his, my fist clenching in reflex. I bit my tongue and settled myself deeper into my chair before reluctantly ordering a water.

Glancing to my right side I noticed a discarded cup of brown liquid sitting next to someone's elbow. The elbow's owner seemed to be passed out, or at least on a break. His head was flat on the bar and he was breathing so shallowly it barely looked like he was breathing at all. I knew he was okay because Dad slept like this all the time. I tried not to turn my head as I glanced both ways, making sure no one saw me switch the glasses. This guy was passed out anyway, he wouldn't miss his drink. Besides, some water would do him some good.

Raising the glass of what smelled like some kind of whiskey to my mouth I was about to take a sip when I happened to spot a pair of eyes boring into me from the far corner of the room. There was a girl standing over there. She had a pool stick in hand but she wasn't playing anyone. Everyone around her was too preoccupied with their own activities to offer to play with her, but honestly, she didn't look like she wanted to play with anyone anyway. I could see her eyebrows raising pointedly from where I sat and a small smirk cross her face. I felt my own mouth quirk up a bit and I immediately wondered why. I'm not one to wallow in my own depression but it was a known fact that I wasn't very friendly. But then again this did fit into my plan. So forcing myself to smile more noticeably I raised my glass in a one sided toast her way and then took a swig.

She seemed to size me up in that moment. Her eyes ran over me, up and down and back again. Taking in the amount of liquid in my cup and the time on the clock she smiled more too before turning on her heels and leaning over the pool table to make her shot. It looked like she had a plan too, or at least that's what she made it seem like. Looking at her I finally seemed to take in her appearance. She had long brown hair that fell into curls down her back and framed her face rather haphazardly, but at the same time perfectly. Very pale skin, it was obvious she didn't go out in the sun much. She was kind of tall and very thin. From where I sat I couldn't see the color of her eyes or the details of her face; but I could see the color of her lips. The bright red lipstick was so bold it would seem like an over the top thing to put on just for a lazy night out at the bar. But again she made it work. I don't know how I figured, but at the time she looked to be about my age, and maybe even younger. That thought had given me a final push. I wasn't going to find another girl on a random Monday night as easily as I'd found this one. Well I probably could but I wouldn't find one as decent looking.

I downed the rest on the unconscious man's drink and then set the glass down with a clunk. Slowly I felt a slight buzz begin to ring between my ears and finally a pleasant feeling was starting to roll over me. I felt myself smile, this time not to the girl but at the night. I'd avoided my dad, gotten my homework done and even snagged a drink all before 11:30. Things were actually looking up for once.

My smile didn't last long; It never does. As it faded I looked over to the girl again but soon realized she was gone. Squinting, I scanned the small dingy pub for her pasty white skin. She couldn't have gotten too far, I'd literally just been checking her out. I laughed bitterly to myself as I tried to find her, running my eyes over the stained brown walls and torn red booth chairs. Was this a good idea? I'd hooked up with girls before, of course. At parties, at bars just like this one, even at my little cousins graduation. But I'd come looking for this one. Deliberately. It was like looking for trouble...in the form of sex. Not a good fall back plan and if I did this now would it be the start of something? God I hope not.