Chapter Six: Moving Forward

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14 years ago…

Today’s a big day! Max is going to take me out to dinner because it’s been a year since we started dating. Even back then, though, it was no surprise to anyone. Apparently, it was expected that we’d start dating. Not that it had been obvious to me…

Anyway, today’s going to be great! I wonder where Max is going to take me. Nowhere too fancy, I hope. We’re only teenagers after all. I don’t want to go to some stuffy restaurant where the people stare at you for the slightest noise.

I can’t wait to see him. Even though it’s hardly been 12 hours since we last saw each other.

Seeing as it’s our kind of anniversary, my mind keeps going back to the day that Max first asked me out. No matter what everyone else thought, it was a shock to me!

Max is two years older than me—the same age as Eve, actually—and I’d always thought he’d never look twice at me. Ah, I was so happy that day! Not that I’m any less happy now.

The clock seems to be going so slowly. I wonder how much longer—that’s the bell! I’m off.

~~~

I don’t get it…Is something wrong with me?…There must be something wrong or this wouldn’t have happened. I need to get out of here. I need to leave this house. How could Eve…and Max? My two favorite people in the world. And she being my own sister? And…it’s been going on for a while. It must’ve been or else she wouldn’t be— Is she actually, though? Would they even have told me if she wasn’t? They’ve been doing a pretty good job hiding it this whole time! But, they seemed happy with each other…Was Max ever that happy with me? Even under these circumstances, they were smiling…It must be me. I’m not right for him. I wonder what Mom and Dad will do…I don’t want to know, actually. They’ll take her side. Say I’m too young or something. They like her more, too, right? It’s my fault. I need to leave. That’ll make it better. They don’t want me around anyway…Yes. It’s for the best. I don’t want to be here…especially not in nine months.

~~~~~~*****~~~~~~

I glance at Hayley. What is she feeling right now? From my diary entry, she must think that I hate her. That I hate her mother and father as well. How could I tell her that back then I hated the idea of her, but now, I’ve come to cherish every quirk and characteristic about her? Would she even believe me?

Almost on its own, my arm twitches closer to her. I want to put my arms around her and help her understand what happened back then. I want to understand her feelings and help her through them.

But, there seems to be a dense gap in the air between us. Every inch my arm moves is a tough battle, and I’m wondering whether I should keep going when Hayley speaks.

“How can you expect me to trust you if you can hardly believe in yourself?” she whispers. It’s extremely similar to what Paige told me yesterday. Hayley is still not looking at me, but I throw caution to the wind and wrap my arms around her.

She stiffens as though she hadn’t expected me to go through with it, but then she leans into me and turns so that her head rests on my shoulder.

Neither of us speaks, and we slowly become accustomed to being so physically and emotionally close to each other. I know that Hayley is still wondering about my diary entry, and I can’t wait for her to tell me her feelings. It’s my turn to take the initiative.

“Hayley, your parents weren’t a bad people at all,” I say. “They really cared about each other.”

“How can you say that? They broke your heart. I would hate them if I were you,” Hayley says. “I would hate me.”

“Oh, Hayley, how could I hate you? You’re an amazing girl,” I say. I have to make her see that it’s true. I really care about Hayley.

“If you really didn’t mind, how come you never visited?” she asks. I know that it’s her need to get away from the sadness and confusion that makes her ask me that question. She wants some real answers so that she can make sense of what she’s feeling. The thing is, I don’t know what to say.

“It was too…painful. I ran away from home that very day, and I’ve never gone back. I was so used to not going that one day, I just stopped considering it.” The words that flow out of my mouth are true. I’ve never really tried to explain my feelings to anyone, and it really does clarify a lot.

I wasn’t even angry at them anymore. It’s too difficult to hold a grudge for 14 years. It was stranger still to go home after a separation of the same amount of time.

“You never wanted to meet me?” she asks. “Was I the spawn of evil?” I can tell that her careless tone is an act. She really wants to know.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to meet you.” I pause and decide to continue with the truth. “It’s more like I completely blocked you from my mind. I tried not to think about you at all because…well, you were just an idea to me. If I’d had the chance to meet you before, you can bet that I would’ve kept visiting,” I say. “Hayley, I love you. You are the person most precious to me right now, and I want you to know that.” I push all my feelings into those words and am shocked when Hayley sobs into my coat.

“Really?” she asks. “I—I thought I was a nuisance to you. An extra mouth to feed. And then when I saw your diary…I was so scared…” Hayley’s tears fall silently, and my heart clenches.

She’d run away because she was worried about what I would think of her? Not because of shock? I am beyond touched. “Hayley, you did nothing wrong. I’m not going to leave you,” I say and squeeze her closer. She responds with a sniff, but I can feel some of the tension leave her body.

“Aunt Mel, I love you too,” she says. I smile. “I’m glad you forgave Mom and Dad,” she adds.

“Of course I did.” And it’s true. I not only stopped being angry at them, I had forgiven them a long time ago. “Shall we go?” I ask.

Hayley moves out of my arms. “We must look like real freaks to everyone here.” She gives me a small smile.

“Who cares about them anyway?” I say, ruffling her hair. Her smile grows.

“Thanks, Aunt Mel. Let’s go home,” Hayley says. “But, don’t expect me to hold your hand or anything just because we’ve had a talk. I’m not a kid,” she adds. Then, she wipes her eyes dry and sits up straight. Hayley is definitely a strong girl. I’m glad.

We get up and walk towards the entrance of the library, ignoring anyone that watches us. The walk home is quiet in a peaceful way. Hayley seems to be thinking about something, but her eyes don’t seem as scared as they did before. She has changed, though, and I’m sorry that her view of her parents had to change so soon after their deaths.

When we leave the library—even after her comment on handholding—Hayley links her arm in mine, and we walk down the street together.

***AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks for reading everyone! I hope you all enjoyed Melanie and Hayley's story. Please feel free to vote and leave me your comments. :) ***

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