addicted [h.s]

25

I haven't updated in forever because of school so read the last chapter again if you forget what's happening!

-

Lightning bugs light up from all directions, flying around as the sound of nature plays in the background. The moon shines brightly, it's a full one, and just like every night since I can remember I look up at it and am reminded of my name. Luna.

My parents always used to tell me I was special because of my name, saying it gave me the potential to be great solely based off of what they labeled me at birth. Of course I took it seriously growing up, doing my best at school, and breaking down into tears if I got anything less than a perfect grade. I guess the meaning, and implied greatness behind my name went out of the window the first night I took drugs.

After that Luna Cambridge ceased to exist, something that was clear to not only my parents, but also myself.

"Luna?" I turn around on the bench to see Harry under the dim glow of night, his eyes gleaming as he looks at me, "you weren't at dinner, and you weren't in your room, so I thought you might be here." He explains.

"I fell asleep on the floor, it was quite comfortable." I say, leaving out the part about Connor being a dick as usual and literally pulling a gun out on me while threatening both mine and Harry's lives.

He rounds the bench and sits next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, "you're freezing." He says quietly.

I shrug, "I didn't even notice."

"What are you thinking about?" He asks me, clearly sensing that something is off.

"My parents." It's not exactly a lie, I have been thinking about them more often then not lately, and I think it has to do with being at this place.

"What about them?" He pushes.

I shrug again, "I don't know exactly. I guess how much I've disappointed them over the past year, and how I can never take it back."

"You can grow from it though, that's why you're here." He pushes a stray hair from my face, and my cheeks instantly become warm from his touch.

"No, I'm here so I didn't have to go to jail, and I'm not going to lie and say this place is helping me a whole lot because it's really not. I could do any drug right now and not feel bad about it whatsoever, and that scares me." I run out of air at the end, realizing that I've kept this bottled up, and how good it feels to tell someone, especially Harry.

"What if I said I didn't want you to do drugs anymore?" I look at him and he's completely serious, taking my hand into his as we sit there in a few moments of silence.

"I might take it into consideration, but I don't know if I can ever really stop." I reveal, knowing that it's true. I honestly don't know if I can ever stop being an addict.

"If you have enough willpower you can stop being addicted at any moment." He points out.

I shake my head, "I don't think you understand, I have to be addicted to something to feel okay."

Harry ponders this for a moment, "this place truly isn't helping you, is it?"

"It's like school, I never really learnt anything meaningful from it, it didn't really help me evolve, or become a better person."

"You mean high school didn't shape into who you are like everyone bullshits you into believing?" Harry says in a sarcastic tone, and I smile when he says it, knowing that he understands exactly what I'm saying.

"Well, it did turn me into a sarcastic asshole whom my parents totally adored." I say, and he smiles at that.

"At least you weren't apart of a band named White Eskimo." He says with a cringe.

I laugh loudly, covering my mouth with my hand, "no you were not."

I can barely make out the faint blush highlighting Harry's cheeks, "I unfortunately was, we had eight fans I think, and all of them were our parents."

I laugh even louder than the time before, clutching my stomach as I think about a young Harry playing with his band to eight adults. "I bet their ears were bleeding after one song."

"Hey!" He says, pouting. "We weren't that bad."

"Yes you were." I say.

He sighs, "okay, maybe we were, but at least we had eight fans."

"None of them even count, keep dreaming Styles." We both smile at each other, and the moment lingers.

"I thought girls dig musicians, shouldn't you be like, really turned on right now or something? I mean imagine me strumming that guitar and singing my solo." He literally strums an imaginary guitar while closing his eyes before smiling, his dimples an accentuated shadow under the night sky.

"All I can see is the parents watching you guys, and bobbing their heads as if the music is good. It's not working." I kiss him out of sympathy, "but nice try."

"It's the effort that counts." He says. "Do you want to go inside before we catch frostbite?"

I nod, "yeah, let's go."

-

I toss and turn all night thinking about what Connor said to me, thinking about how I would even get Harry to tell me all about his business.

I think about the gun he pointed at me, and how easily he could've pulled the trigger. I'm either going to betray someone I've gotten to know over the past couple of weeks, and genuinely like more than I have anyone in my entire life, or do something rash to a clearly psychotic asshole.

Somehow, my mind eventually grows tired of thinking and I fall asleep, waking to the sound of my roommate singing. I put my pillow over my head to try and drown her out, but it doesn't work.

"Do you mind shutting up while I sleep?" I ask, not in the kindest way possible.

"We have group in ten minutes, so I think I'm helping you out." Miranda says back, her tone just as bitchy as mine.

I groan before moving the pillow and sitting up in bed, looking down at the clothes I wore yesterday and deciding I might as well just wear them. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth before heading to where the group session is held, Harry and Niall already there once I arrive.

"Sleep in?" Harry asks, noticing I'm wearing the same thing as yesterday and I'm sure my hair is a mess seeming as I haven't even brushed it yet.

"Yes, but don't worry, I brushed my teeth." I say with some dignity.

"Thank god." Niall says, and I laugh at his over dramatic tone.

We all sit down and make small talk until Jared comes in a few minutes later, beginning the session. I notice Connor staring at me from across the circle, his eyes dark as he doesn't look away.

Jared chooses Connor to share first, and he still doesn't look away from me when he begins to speak, "I have something interesting to share today." He smiles at me in a devious way, and I can already tell today will not be a good one.

-

long time no update :'(

honestly school was extremely stressful during the last week of finals and i took a small hiatus from wattpad but now i'm back and ready to write!

PSA: i have a new story out called 'due date' and it's in my works so you should go check it out. it is a dystopian story like outsider and i hope you all will like it!

here's a pun:

What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

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-jo