A/n: If you laughed once, or even just smiled, please vote for it! It just takes a second of your time! Enjoy and thanks for reading!
Peanut butter, check.
Now where are those kosher pickles mom likes?
I scanned the shelf thouroughly while noticing the complete absence of shoppers at Trader Joe's Grocery today. Where was everyone and their shopping carts?
"Yes! Kosher pickles!" I
I slowly reached out my tip-toes to the top shelf, a sudden pull latched onto my scarf- gagging my neck.
I was so agast that I couldn't even yell for help. A boy of about 18 started stealing my sunglasses and scarf. His face looked like it was already well-covered in fear, I really didn't think that he needed to accessorize with anything else.
"Quick, I need your makeup or girly lipstick stuff, NOW! Get it out! You need to put some on me, I need to have a disguise from them!" He yelled.
Wide-eyed and obeying his command, I rolled off my Dooney and Bourke tote and began to quickly rummage through it- looking for that ugly lipstick my mom had bought me for my birthday last year. I pulled it out and marveled at its ugly magenta color, why would Chanel ever mass produce this? Why was even in my purse still? Screw the lipstick, what the hell was going on with makeup boy on aisle seven over here?
"Hurry, they know where I am and they're coming soon!"
"Okay!" I stuttered out- trying to regain my speech. "Are the freaking aliens coming? What the fu- "
"Hush it! Pipe down! Just apply this makeup and everything will be fine."
The overall mood changed from frightening to ridiculous and unbelievable in a split second. I now marveled at the fact that I was frantically applying makeup (now my own, personal mascara) to a boy of my age. But who was he talking about, who was coming? The aisle reeked of sour kosher pickles; I accidentally dropped them whenever makeup man startled me.
"You need to drive me out of this place, Fast! I have a couple hundred- is this a deal?"
I snagged the money without question and shoved it into my now unorganized purse. The money bribe really sealed the deal- regardless of if he was a dangerous stranger or not.
The boy continuously took glances out of the store and into the parking lot.
"Here's the plan, we're going to walk out of this grocery store- calmly! Starting now, we are calm, relaxed people. Nothing has happened; think calm and nothing else. Laugh, talk and act like we are best friends, please. If paparazzi are already outside and ask you about the whereabouts of anyone, say you just saw a suspicious guy leave just left- please, for me. I swear I'm not dangerous- no will I do anything to you. I can't talk to them because of my accent- you will have to explain if anyone asks."
Although this boy was wearing makeup and dressed like a girl, you could tell by his sincere voice that he was serious about every word- no matter how bogus it came out.
"Where's your car?" He asked, while adjusting my scarf to fit his neck.
I innocently pointed over to my dad's BMW ActiveE. Ah, the car. A smile always came to my face when the car came into conversation. I swear, when my mom and dad announced they were going to Italy for their anniversary, it took weeks upon weeks to convince him to let me use it. Of course, I could always drive my piece of junk around town. Lately, my 1995 Ford Explorer wasn't exactly making the cut- given the fact that the neighbors kids dented it with a football, my dad failed at giving it a paint job, and to top it all off, It was missing a window (that was now covered in duct tape). North Hollywood High just let out for summer and this week dad's car to myself, the house to myself, and well deserved free time from all the books, tests and drama of NHH.
"Remember what to say. I already see the photographers out there." He commented before biting his lip and mumbling, "Shit... how do they find these things out so fast?"
His deep, British voice didn't exactly match the quick coat of lipstick, eye shadow, and mascara I sloppily applied (the lipstick was the only thing that was applied neatly-I was taking my time to savor the moment). Even though we just met on the canned food aisle in the store, I knew he no longer meant harm to me. Right before we left the store exit, he put on my 'stolen' sunglasses and put his hood over his head.