“Local gangster Justin Bieber is being released today after serving three years in prison. The teenager was arrested shortly after murdering—” I shut the TV off, carelessly throwing the remote to the side while letting out a much needed breath.
All morning; every news channel, radio show, magazine and newspaper has been filled with the buzz about Justin and how he’s being released out of jail.
Meanwhile all I could think about was how the hell I was going to react when I saw him for the first time in a little over three years.
Just the words; saying them, hearing them, reading them… it didn’t seem normal. It all felt so surreal like this was all just one big, bad, horribledream and that if I pinched myself, I would wake up and everything would be back to normal.
I would be having dinner with my boyfriend and family, enjoying the food, laughing at the jokes shared amongst us and we would all be bonding; making up for the horrible catastrophe our last dinner had turned into.
But, no, instead, I was hit with the news that my boyfriend—the one who I was supposed to be able to love and trust, no matter what—was arrested for killing the one guy I thought was behind us all.
My phone buzzed in the pocket of my jeans, startling me from my deep thoughts. Shrugging the intensifying feeling growing in the pit of my stomach, I took it out, the screen illuminated with the words “One new message: John”.
My breathing hitched in my throat as I slid my finger across, unlocking it, the message instantly popping up.
I froze, my heart beat accelerating greatly, my body going numb, palms sweaty. This isn’t like me. Licking my lips, I fought the courage to fight through my nerving behavior, typing back quickly, my fingers doing the talking while my head screamed another.
Yeah, I’m ready.
‘Ready’ my ass, my subconscious sneered at me, taunting me of the numerous amounts of doubt and unreasoning I felt in the mist of all the anxieties in my stomach.
I swallowed hard, shaking my head, trying to steer my head in the right direction of where my thoughts should really be.
I should be happy, ecstatic, relieved and all the above of all positive emotions…. But why was it that not even an ounce of my being felt any of those?
Why did I, instead, feel lost, scared, disappointed and most of all… disoriented?
The bell’s ring thrashing against the walls of the four corners of the house, bouncing in my eardrums, brought me out of my daze causing me to snap my head up and over to the door. Several soft yet demanding knocks were heard soon after and that’s when I knew… this was it.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I slowly stood up, grasping onto my phone for dear life as I walked over to the front door. The moment I unlocked it, there was no turning back. Taking a deep breath, I grasped the doorknob, twisting it before tearing the door open, revealing both Carly and John standing on my front porch.
Carly’s eyes held compassion, knowing exactly what I was feeling due to the countless nights she stayed with me, holding me while I cried into her chest, repeatedly telling her that I was sorry and that I should have listened to her from the beginning.
To say I was hurt was a complete understatement. I was beaten lifeless of any feelings known to man. I was numbed from head to toe, not knowing how to handle myself any longer but slowly but surely I found the inner comfort in me and fought to keep myself contained.
I did one hell of a good job getting back on my feet too and starting my life up again, that was, until I was told that Justin would be released after serving his rightful time in jail.
|Justin Bieber||as Danger/Justin|
|Lily Collins||as Kelsey|