Reputation to keep

back again

I looked at the sodden figure in front of me

'Jade' I kept my voice in control. I couldn't lose it now, even while I wanted to shout and scream at her the hundreds of questions swimming in my head.

'Max. Please. Just let me explain before you kick us out, we have nowhere else to go' She pleaded with me, but only one part registered in my head. We? I looked down and saw a small child in her arms. The very same one that had caused me all that pain just one short year ago. 

'Leave me the fuck alone Jade' I growled, my voice was strained now, I was fighting to keep it all in. 'I told you I never wanted to see you again'

Jade looked at me and I noticed her eyes were tearing up, I also noticed something else was off. 

'Is that a black eye?' I was shocked, who gave her that?

'Marcus.' with that one word, she broke down sobbing. I looked her up and down and saw she had bruises, old and new all over her. She had scars, ugly and jagged and plenty of old, infected cuts that obviously needed to be treated. She was a different person. One who knew of suffering and pain

I took her by the arm and led her inside, leaving her in the hall while I grabbed some towels. I wasn't happy about it, but I couldn't leave her out in the cold, with the choice of returning to an abusive relationship or becoming homeless.

Marcus. That son of a bitch! That dirty little mother fucker! So he takes my girlfriend (of the time) and then treats her like dirt when he gets her?! Sure he did me a favour in the long run, I didn't have real chemistry with Jade, but all that pain and suffering for nothing?! And the thought of him abusing Jade like this! I had known he had anger management issues, but nothing like this!

I took some towels out of the cupboard and decided to take some clothes down for her too as she didn't seem to have bothered bringing anything for her or the baby. The baby. Just thinking about it sent a burst of hatred down my spine to form a big knot in the pit of my stomach. It was irrational to think like this, to take my anger out on someone who wasn't even responsible for what had happened but somewhere in my mind, the child had become responsible for my suffering. Sure, I hated Marcus and Jade too, but that was a different kind of hate. Marcus and Jade, I hated because they had caused me pain through physical actions. The baby was different. The child, I hated because of what it did to me mentally. Every time I looked at him, memories, good, and bad were uncovered. Jade and I when we first started going out, when she fist told me she was pregnant, and finally, when I first saw the child that was supposed to be mine. The feelings that ran through me when I first saw that baby were overwhelming. The betrayal, the anger, but most of all, the jealousy. Yes, jealousy. I had given up a full year of my life, waiting for that baby and psyching myself up mentally, easing myself into the idea that I was about to become a father. And then the rug was ripped from under my feet. Marcus was the father. Marcus who had never wanted kids, never even had a serious relationship, gained this precious gift, and yet I was the one who worked for it. It outraged me that he had to give up nothing to get this, whereas I had given up my whole world, and all for nothing.

I sighed. Why is it my past can't just leave me alone?! 

I trudged back down the stairs and handed the towels and clothing to Jade

'I really am sorry Max. Are you sure we're not too much trouble to have around?' She dried her eyes and regained some of her composure

'Look Jade. I will take you in and help you if you really need it, but don't act like you give a fuck that you've come back in to piss with my life again and turn it back into the old shit pile it was all over again.' I hissed at her and she flinched at my harsh words. But I didn't have any sympathy left, I was tightly strung as it was and I didn't need her pushing me. 'Let's get one thing straight right now though. You are not to interfere with my personal life anymore. I have a new girlfriend, new friends, and no one knows about my past, and I want it to stay that way. Got it?' I glared at her