The Queen Of The Damned
The Queen Of The Damned
By Anne Rice
I'M THE VAMPIRE LESTAT. REMEMBER ME? THE vampire who became a super rock star, the one who
wrote the autobiography? The one with the blond hair and the gray eyes, and the insatiable desire for
visibility and fame? You remember. I wanted to be a symbol of evil in a shining century that didn't have any
place for the literal evil that I am. I even figured I'd do some good in that fashion-playing the devil on the
painted stage.
And I was off to a good start when we talked last. I'd just made my debut in San Francisco-first "live concert"
for me and my mortal band. Our album was a huge success. My autobiography was doing respectably with
both the dead and the undead.
Then something utterly unforeseen took place. Well, at least I hadn't seen it coming. And when I left you, I
was hanging from the proverbial cliff, you might say.
Well, it's all over now-what followed. I've survived, obviously. I wouldn't be talking to you if I hadn't. And the
cosmic dust has finally settled; and the small rift in the world's fabric of rational beliefs has been mended, or
at least closed.
I'm a little sadder for all of it, and a little meaner and a little more conscientious as well. I'm also infinitely
more powerful, though the human in me is closer to the surface than ever-an anguished and hungry being
who both loves and detests this invincible immortal shell in which I'm locked.
The blood thirst? Insatiable, though physically I have never needed the blood less. Possibly I could exist
now without it altogether. But the lust I feel for everything that walks tells me that this will never be put to the
test.
You know, it was never merely the need for the blood anyway, though the blood is all things sensual that a
creature could desire; it's the intimacy of that moment-drinking, killing-the great heart-to-heart dance that
takes place as the victim weakens and I feel myself expanding, swallowing the death which, for a split
second, blazes as large as the life.
That's deceptive, however. No death can be as large as a life. And that's why I keep taking life, isn't it? And
I'm as far from salvation now as I could ever get. The fact that I know it only makes it worse.
Of course I can still pass for human; all of us can, in one way or another, no matter how old we are. Collar
up, hat down, dark glasses, hands in pockets-it usually does the trick. I like slim leather jackets and tight
jeans for this disguise now, and a pair of plain black boots that are good for walking on any terrain. But now
and then I wear the fancier silks which people like in these southern climes where I now reside.
If someone does look too closely, then there is a little telepathic razzle-dazzle: Perfectly normal, what you
see. And a flash of the old smile, fang teeth easily concealed, and the mortal goes his way.
Occasionally I throw up all the disguises; I just go out the way I am. Hair long, a velvet blazer that makes me
think of the olden times, and an emerald ring or two on my right hand. I walk fast right through the downtown
crowds in this lovely corrupt southern city; or stroll slowly along the beaches, breathing the warm southern
breeze, on sands that are as white as the moon.
Nobody stares for more than a second or two. There are too many other inexplicable things around ushorrors,
threats, mysteries that draw you in and then inevitably disenchant you. Back to the predictable and
humdrum. The prince is never going to come, everybody knows that; and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.
It's the same for the others who have survived with me, and who share this hot and verdant little corner of
the universe-the southeastern tip of the North American continent, the glistering metropolis of Miami, a
happy hunting ground for bloodthirsting immortals if ever there was such a place.
It's good to have them with me, the others; it's crucial, really- and what I always thought I wanted: a grand
coven of the wise, the enduring, the ancient, and the careless young.
But ah, the agony of being anonymous among mortals has never been worse for me, greedy monster that I
am. The soft murmur of preternatural voices can't distract me from it. That taste of mortal recognition was
too seductive-the record albums in the windows, the fans leaping and clapping in front of the stage. Never
mind that they didn't really believe I was a vampire; for that moment we were together. They were calling my
name!
Now the record albums are gone, and I will never listen to those songs again. My book remains-along with
By Anne Rice
I'M THE VAMPIRE LESTAT. REMEMBER ME? THE vampire who became a super rock star, the one who
wrote the autobiography? The one with the blond hair and the gray eyes, and the insatiable desire for
visibility and fame? You remember. I wanted to be a symbol of evil in a shining century that didn't have any
place for the literal evil that I am. I even figured I'd do some good in that fashion-playing the devil on the
painted stage.
And I was off to a good start when we talked last. I'd just made my debut in San Francisco-first "live concert"
for me and my mortal band. Our album was a huge success. My autobiography was doing respectably with
both the dead and the undead.
Then something utterly unforeseen took place. Well, at least I hadn't seen it coming. And when I left you, I
was hanging from the proverbial cliff, you might say.
Well, it's all over now-what followed. I've survived, obviously. I wouldn't be talking to you if I hadn't. And the
cosmic dust has finally settled; and the small rift in the world's fabric of rational beliefs has been mended, or
at least closed.
I'm a little sadder for all of it, and a little meaner and a little more conscientious as well. I'm also infinitely
more powerful, though the human in me is closer to the surface than ever-an anguished and hungry being
who both loves and detests this invincible immortal shell in which I'm locked.
The blood thirst? Insatiable, though physically I have never needed the blood less. Possibly I could exist
now without it altogether. But the lust I feel for everything that walks tells me that this will never be put to the
test.
You know, it was never merely the need for the blood anyway, though the blood is all things sensual that a
creature could desire; it's the intimacy of that moment-drinking, killing-the great heart-to-heart dance that
takes place as the victim weakens and I feel myself expanding, swallowing the death which, for a split
second, blazes as large as the life.
That's deceptive, however. No death can be as large as a life. And that's why I keep taking life, isn't it? And
I'm as far from salvation now as I could ever get. The fact that I know it only makes it worse.
Of course I can still pass for human; all of us can, in one way or another, no matter how old we are. Collar
up, hat down, dark glasses, hands in pockets-it usually does the trick. I like slim leather jackets and tight
jeans for this disguise now, and a pair of plain black boots that are good for walking on any terrain. But now
and then I wear the fancier silks which people like in these southern climes where I now reside.
If someone does look too closely, then there is a little telepathic razzle-dazzle: Perfectly normal, what you
see. And a flash of the old smile, fang teeth easily concealed, and the mortal goes his way.
Occasionally I throw up all the disguises; I just go out the way I am. Hair long, a velvet blazer that makes me
think of the olden times, and an emerald ring or two on my right hand. I walk fast right through the downtown
crowds in this lovely corrupt southern city; or stroll slowly along the beaches, breathing the warm southern
breeze, on sands that are as white as the moon.
Nobody stares for more than a second or two. There are too many other inexplicable things around ushorrors,
threats, mysteries that draw you in and then inevitably disenchant you. Back to the predictable and
humdrum. The prince is never going to come, everybody knows that; and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead.
It's the same for the others who have survived with me, and who share this hot and verdant little corner of
the universe-the southeastern tip of the North American continent, the glistering metropolis of Miami, a
happy hunting ground for bloodthirsting immortals if ever there was such a place.
It's good to have them with me, the others; it's crucial, really- and what I always thought I wanted: a grand
coven of the wise, the enduring, the ancient, and the careless young.
But ah, the agony of being anonymous among mortals has never been worse for me, greedy monster that I
am. The soft murmur of preternatural voices can't distract me from it. That taste of mortal recognition was
too seductive-the record albums in the windows, the fans leaping and clapping in front of the stage. Never
mind that they didn't really believe I was a vampire; for that moment we were together. They were calling my
name!
Now the record albums are gone, and I will never listen to those songs again. My book remains-along with
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