Love Without Uncertainty | JB | a.u | BWWM

Twenty Six.

Sunrise came and I was up early and craving a cup of morning coffee. I hadn't had a good sleep, mainly because I had an upsetting dream about having a child and that upset me. I felt like I was back to square one but looking at Justin sleep peacefully beside me gave me just a little bit of hope.

I climbed out of bed and went to wash my face, brush my teeth and detangle my hair that I realised needed a bit of love. I put it up in a bun and headed downstairs to find something to eat.

Of course, Catherine was already making breakfast. I gave her a small smile and a quiet greeting.

"What would you like to eat, Miss Banks?" She asked ever so sweetly.

"Just some cereal." I said. "I'll get it myself though, thanks."

Catherine wanted to protest but she let it go. I got a bowl out of the cupboard, a spoon, milk and some cereal and poured myself some. I then went to sit at the window near the piano and had my breakfast as I watched the leaves decaying on the ground.

My mind drifted to my dream: I was in some sort of upset state-- crying while Justin tried to comfort me. I didn't know why I was so upset but it seemed serious. Justin held me in his arms, gently rocking me back and forth as we sat on the couch and suddenly the front door opened and a small voice called out 'mommy?'. My head shot up and just as I was about to look at this little child-- my child-- I woke up.

"Would you like a cup of coffee, Miss Banks?" Catherine asked me softly, as if she was afraid she'd say something offensive. She could see I was deep in thought.

I'd even forgotten that I left the bedroom with the intention to get some coffee into my system.

"Yes please." I said and tried to smile at her.

She nodded once and went to turn on the coffee machine.

Justin walked down the stairs and headed to the kitchen to have some water. His eyes landed on me when he was about to head back upstairs and he walked over to me.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I responded.

He held his hand out to me.

"Come sit with me on the couch." He could see I wasn't, in any way, the Dileah I was yesterday at Subway.

I hesitated to take his hand but I did and got up.

Catherine placed my coffee on the coffee table and left the room.

Justin and I cuddled on the couch and that made me feel safe and better.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, stroking my hair.

"I don't really know." I shrugged. "I had a silly dream that got my mood down, that's all."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I didn't know if I wanted to but I did anyway, feeling stupid as I did.

"I'm going nuts." I chuckled lightly.

"No." Justin kissed my temple gently to comfort me.

"I guess I'm a little angry." I said, "At Randy, for what he did to me. A part of me wishes I'd had the guts to pay him a visit in prison to give him a piece of my mind and tell him how much I hate him for this and everything else he's ruined in my life. But I know it's not worth it. I know he'll get what's coming to him. I just need to work on forgiving him... again."

"We'll be alright, Dileah. I promise. There will be a way forward. We just need to find it."

I sighed.