I Need To Get Away

I Need To Get Away - Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen - Carley's POV

I folded up the last of my clothes and shoved them into the dirty suitcase that I had taken from underneath Ebony's bed. It felt wrong taking a dead girl's suitcase, but it wasn't as if I had one of my own. I tried to make myself feel better by telling myself that she would have wanted me to have it, but to no avail. I was still stealing a dead girl's suitcase. And not just any dead girl's suitcase. Ebony had been my friend.

Sim walked into the room, shaking his head at my nearly packed suitcase.

"Are you sure, you want to do this, Scar? Is it worth it?" he asked, frowning.

I gave him a watery smile and shrugged.

"Sure as I'll ever be. I'm done of being Scarlett. That's not who I am, nor who I'll ever be. I'm Carley."

He shook his head again.

"Is this about Ebony getting killed? Because if so, nothing like that has happened before. I have been running this...business for twelve years, and my father for fourty years before me. This is a safe place really. Ebony was a...a...special case, so to speak."

I cringed at the word 'business'. How could anyone refer to this hell hole as a 'business'? It was awful here, and so was everybody who worked here or came here for...satisfaction. That was the word that Sim used when he asked about a customer.

"Was he satisfied?"

As soon as I had thought that I took it back. Yes it was awful here, and the people who came here for satisfaction were all awful, but not everyone who worked here was awful. Sim was okay; after all, he had gotten me a job, and payed for all my expenses, involving clothes, toiletries, and hair dye when I had needed it to keep my hair its shocking red colour. Ginger wasn't bad too, ever since Ebony's death she had always been here for me. Ebony had certainly been my favourite person here.

I had made my decision to pack up and leave the evening of the day

that Anastasia had called asking permission to give Matt the bar's number. After I had cried for around three hours straight, locked in my room, I realised that Matt would stop at nothing to try and find me. Why did I ever think that he wouldn't care? This was Matt. I had started crying again at this revelation. I needed to leave. I needed to get away. If he had worked out that I was staying here, then he would come and find me.

I had notified Sim straight away, who tried to talk me out of it. He had tried telling me that I should stay here a while, and clear my mind before I just go off on my own again. However, I was adamant. I had explained to him how I couldn't clear my mind here, I needed to go somewhere else and go it. He had finally caved and agreed to let me go.

Standing here in front of him again, I was still adamant.

"No, it isn't about Ebony's death. It is about me finding myself, so to speak. I just don't belong here, this isn't where I am meant to be. I need to go out and start my own life, instead of being stuck here mulling things over constantly in my mind about the future, if that makes sense. I need to take charge."

He sighed.

"I understand. Believe it or not, I do. I was a runaway once. For two years I was missing. Two whole years, fourteen to sixteen. At the time it didn't seem much of a big deal, but looking back I realise how much I had lost in that time. My mother was frantic, and after eighteen months, when everyone had given up hope that I was ever coming back, she killed herself. Bought some heroin on the street and took so much that it killed her. That's the reason I came home, I saw an article in the local paper marking the six months anniversary. I liked to come back every now and then, you know, just to get the local paper and see if anything interesting had happened. After I read that, I came straight back home. I always thought that no one had cared. Turned out to be me who looked as if he didn't care."

I stared at him for a few moments, taking in what I just heard. He chuckled.

"I know, quite a story isn't it? I just wish I could go back and change it. It's the reason I agreed to taking over my dad's business, so that I could take in other runaways and hopefully make a difference, rather than letting them wander the streets."

I stayed gawking at him. Instead of chuckling this time, he sighed.

"Here, take this."

He shoved a collection of notes into my hand.

"You can't expect to survive out there without any money. It's the least I could do. You were one of my customers' favourites, and you have had an exceptionally hard time. I knew how close you were to Ebony."

I stared at the money in my hand, then back at Sim. Surprising both him and myself, I wrapped my arms around him.

"Thank you," I whispered, my eyes watering.

I felt him laugh as he hugged me back.

"It's fine, Scar...wait I mean Carley. You know where I am if you need me."

I pulled away, and nodded.

"Thank you again."

He nodded back, and left the room, without uttering another word.

I shoved the remaining clothes in my suitcase, and looked around the room. My eyes were drawn back to the mirror, as they always were. I could go for hours just staring at my reflection.

However, I didn't want to do that now. I didn't want to see myself, the face full of shame and eyes full of lies. There was no time for that.

Zipping the suitcase up, I dragged it along the floor towards the door. I had written a note for Ginger and left it on her pillow, explaining that I was leaving and that I was sorry. Hopefully she would just forget about me.

I dragged the suitcase along the floor to the entrance of the brothel. In the corner of my eye I could see two girls, Chestnut and Saffron, leaning against the bar. They didn't even notice me.

I had one quick last scan of the bar before I left. As I walked through the door, I kept repeating the same thought over and over as when I had first ran away.

I need to get away.

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I am sooooooo sorry that it has been such a long wait! I have had so much going on in the past couple of months that I have barely had time to breathe, let alone write a new chapter! Hopefully now updates will return to a fairly regular basis!

What do you think? Sorry it isn't my best work

Song of the chapter is try by pink. It's a good song, about not giving up and motivation, sort of, ish...

As ever, please keep reading, and vote :)