I'm Just Your...Best Friend

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Fionna's POV

I know I'm asleep. I know I'm unconcious and I know why. But the knowing is what hurts most. My heart clenches in my test as I remember what I did to Marshall, what I did to Gumball. I've hurt two of my best friends, and for what? Because I was jealous and angry? 

Marshall's not the bad guy here. I am.

Marshall Lee has been my best friend since he tried to steal my tree house, and Cake and I had to go on that whole house-hunting spree. Marshall found us at our cave crib and started a fight. After Cake tricked him, we became friends. Marshall's always been there for me and I for him. And Gumball? We go way back. It ain't even funny how far back we go.

I'm a monster, I know. There is no one on this planet that knows how awful I am except me. I'm a defect. The last human in the whole freaking world and I'm also a terrible thing. I shouldn't even call myself human anymore. What kind of human would say something like that to Marshall? I called him awful things, said too much. He didn't deserve any of that. I just said it because I was hurt and pissed off.

What does Gumball have that is so special? Why is he the holder of Marshall's heart and I'm not? It isn't fair. I was there when Marshall fell apart at the seams because of Gumball. I put him back together. I was the one who cheered him on and has always been there when he needs me. Not once did I push him away or put him second. He has always been first to me. So why is it that he loves Gumball and not me?

But now I know the answer to that question: because there was no reason to ever see me as someone he could love. I've only ever let him see me as his best friend and his confidant. The one person who would never let him down no matter what. I never let him look at me in a different light. Sure, we flirt sometimes, but it's never turned into anything more. There has never been the kind of love I want.

I've fucked everything up. Marshall and Gumball hate me and I think I hate me too. Why wouldn't I? I'm a hateable gal. Grob, I wish I could wake up and make everything okay. But I probably can't even do that because I can't do anything right. I'm a failure. I just want to wake up so I can tell Marshall and Bonnibello that I'm so sorry. Then maybe they won't hate me.

First I just have to wake up. Come on, Fi, you can do it. But I can't. My eyes won't open even as I struggle to force my eyelids apart. I'm stuck in this cavernous dark and it's suffocating me. I can't breathe. I can't even think past the panic that's welling up inside my chest. Somebody, please do something! Please! I'm dying...

Third-Person POV

Doctor Ice Cream fiddles with the machines that Fionna is hooked up to and yells, "Nurse Poundcake, get the defibrillator!" Marshall Lee and Prince Gumball stand next to the bed, clutching each other tightly. "What's happening, Doctor?" the vampire king asks fearfully. His red eyes are wide and worried as he looks down at his best friend.

Fionna's heart monitor is off the charts. It is erratic and a loud beeping sound emitts from it. Other unknown machines flash and make sounds too, but the two lovers can't make any sense of it. All that they know is that something very very bad is happening to their friend and there is nothing they can do.

Nurse Poundcake brings the defibrillator, two handheld paddles attatched to a machine. Doctor Ice Cream takes the paddles and rubs them together before yelling "Clear!" and smacking them onto Fionna's body. Her pale form jerks at the pressure, yet her blue eyes still will not open. The doctor repeats the process twice more, each time rubbing harder and shoving them deeper into Fionna's flesh.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Doctor Ice Cream turns to the lovers. "I'm sorry, boys. There's nothing I can do." The grim news is punctuated by a long, piercing beep from the heart monitor. Tears well in Marshall's eyes and start rolling down his greenish cheeks. He leans over the bed and beats his fist on it. "No, no, NO!" he wails.

Gumball hooks his arm around his lover's shoulders, bringing him closer to hold. He wraps his sturdy pink arms around the sobbing vampire. Tears are present in his own eyes, though he will not allow them to fall. Marshall Lee looks at his lifeless best friend and screams, "How could you? You can't be dead!" To the prince, "She can't be dead! Please, Gumball! She...she can't..."

The only sounds in the room are Marshall's sobbing and the occasional soft whirr from the machines. Everything else is silent in mourning for the fallen heroine. No one knows what she'd thought of in her last moments as a person. No one knows how much she'd hated herself and, yes, wanted to die.

No one knows the secrets she harbored inside, and now has taken to the grave.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Author's Note:

Before you all start getting confused, let me clarify something: Fionna thought she was a monster and a failure because she doesn't know what being human means. She doesn't know that humans make mistakes and sometimes do bad things because she has no way of knowing. There are no other humans to teach her that it's okay to do the wrong thing as long as you make it right. There is no one to tell her that she's not a terrible defect. Sure, there are other creatures to say that but it doesn't matter because they're not human. They don't really know how to be human either.

So yeah, that's the new chapter. I apologize for making you guys wait so long, but now I've uploaded and I love you guys. You're all wonderful and amazing. By the way, this chapter is dedicated to my friend Molly who's actually a pretty good writer. Y'all should go check her out, especially if you're One Direction fans.

Also I challenge you to guess what Fionna was hiding! Stay beautiful, fireballs.

~Sunny

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