Don't Blink

Don't Blink Chapter 2: One Movement

Don't Blink

Chapter 2: One Movement

            All the sounds around me were dull. All my sense had become nullified. I was numb. From shock? Grief? Loneliness? I could only wonder, because thinking at this moment was difficult. Though, thinking at this moment wouldn't bring out any result. I just had to sit, lifeless, or give an occasional smile or nod. I just had to sit like a perfect porcelain doll and listen to the soft condolences from everyone that had gathered.

Their words lingered meaninglessly, though. They were not sympathetic for me; they were just trying to get rid of their grief by hoping their “apologies” would erase all that had happened. All that I had seen. But nothing was erased. Not the piercing screech of tire that rang in my ears with every fake word and selfish tears. Not the crunch of metal and the sight of my mother’s lifeless body. Everything was still here. It was upon my shoulders and the weight grew heavier with every word people spoke.

I didn't cry though. I didn't need to, or maybe I couldn't. Was I too numb, or too stubborn? Funerals were that of mourn and grief, and in my opinion, self-pity. If they were sad that the person was gone, then why talk of the things they didn't get to do? Why? Why are you saying sorry to the person who isn't dead? Say sorry to them! Say sorry about all the things you didn't get to say and for all the things you did! Tell them to be happy as we all live on happily! Don't cry!

Mother wouldn't want to have seen all these people crying. She would probably walk right into a funeral and talk about all the great things the person did and make everyone laugh. She always made people happy, because she loved seeing people smile. Why won't anyone say that? Why do they keep saying that “it's such a loss” and “she was a good person” and “we will miss her dearly.” Why don't you say why you would miss her?

If mother were here she'd probably tell me to say something happy about the dead person and to talk to them and tell them that you'll miss them but you loved having them around. Mother would've sat with a smile and comforted the crying ones. Then silently, after she left, mother would cry, but keep the smile on her face. Not grieving, but reminiscing in happy memories. Where are those happy memories now?

Another person made their way to meet us and give us their “sympathetic” words. I didn't look up from my feet to see who it was, but I could tell by the shoes that it was a man. He shook my Aunts hand and they whispered quietly, as to not disturb any of the mourners. The feet moved over to me and a hand landed on my shoulder. It was a gentle touch, but not like any of the others. The hand stayed there, gently, but protectively and firmly. I looked up and saw short, dark hair and dark blue eyes.

“Lia,” Hiroki whispered.

I felt a pang in my stomach and I looked back down. I sat and waited for the fake words and a soft, “sorry.” None came. I tilted my head slightly to look up at him and he was just looking at me. I looked up at him completely and he gave a soft smile. It didn't show happiness, or grieving, and it wasn't sympathetic. He held no memories of my mother, so he wasn't reminiscing, but rather, he was looking into my dry eyes and waiting for the tears to fall. Waiting as well; for the happy memories.

I grabbed the hand on my shoulder and stood up. I walked with him and stood away from everyone else.

“Why did you come?” I asked looking out into the distance blankly.

“You're aunt invited me. She thought that it would be alright if I came, even if I didn't know your mother,” he said, his eyes were sad, but not lifeless like mine.

“You didn't have to. It's just a party of mourners and unhappy memories. You shouldn't be here,” I kept my eyes away from him.

Hiroki touched my shoulder again. His hand was warm against my bare shoulder. My black dress had thin straps and went down just past my knees. On my torso there was a bow tied slightly to the left. It hung loosely and slightly curled near the end of my dress. It all hung delicately around my limp body. My head turned slightly towards the calming warm touch.