*this is not my work*
WARNING YOU MAY CRY!
How are you, mate? I hope you're finally happy. Happier than you ever were before because if anyone deserves to be happy it's you, Harry.
The boys and I are doing ok. It's not the same without you of course, but then again it never will be the same. We lost a friend, one of us, a brother. We lost a bit of ourselves.
You shouldn't have done it you know. You just shouldn't have done it.
We loved you. We still love you.
Louis has never been the same since. He turned to alcohol and pushed us all away. He even broke up with Eleanor. But you know Eleanor, you introduced them after all. She didn't give up on him. In fact she sat him down and yelled at him to grow some balls and realize that he wasn't the only one hurting, that we were hurting too and watching him throw his life away was making it worse for us. As you'd expect he was stubborn and continued to get drunk. I'd run into him in your room sometimes and he'd just be lying there crying with your favourite bracelet in his hands. We finally knew why you wore them so often.
Other times I'd find him in your closet drunk out of his mind yelling at you to come out and put on the shirt he'd gotten you for your birthday because we were late for an interview. We don't do them anymore though.
No more interviews.
No more tours.
No more albums, or songs, or signings.
No more us.
No more One Direction.
You were gone. It wasn't fair for us to keep going without you. So we didn't.
Niall stopped playing the guitar after you were gone. He just stopped.
I asked him one day if he would play something for me, but he just refused and yelled at me to go away. I've never seen Niall so close to losing it. He was so broken.
I remember the day that he walked out of a meeting saying he was done. Management wanted us to keep going even without you. But we couldn't do it and I think when they said that we had to keep going and that we would all take turns singing your parts, that's what made Niall snap.
He stood up from the table and his eyes they were filled with so much anger as he stared at our manager, I thought he was going to punch him. And you know Niall. He doesn't fight, but for you in that moment, I think he would have done anything.
But then his shoulders just sagged and he turned and walked out of the room. We all followed him moments afterwards.
On what would have been your 21st birthday I walked into Niall's room and I saw him standing beside his guitar, you know that one he loved so much? And my heart literally fell apart. Because Niall, our sweet little Nialler that everyone mistook as the youngest was standing beside the wreckage of his most prized possession and he didn't even seem to care. he just blinked and looked over at me, his eyes empty and unseeing.
I asked him what he was doing and he just shrugged and said "Harry's gone. There's no point in it anymore." while looking over at the broken pieces of the guitar.
He's doing much better now though I promise, so you shouldn't worry about him. You shouldn't worry about any of us.
We bought him a new guitar. He hasn't touched it yet, but maybe one day he will. Right now he just writes lyrics. Most of them are sad, though. But I guess that's how it's going to be for now.
We all thought Zayn would take it the worst and resort to drugs and whatnot. But he surprised us all. Instead of getting worse, his smoking habits ended and he got better, but he wasn't Zayn. He looked like Zayn and talked like Zayn but he wasn't Zayn. None of us were ourselves.
I asked him one day why he quit and he just said it was what you would have wanted. Sometimes I'd walk by his room and I'd just hear him crying and calling out to you and I'd knock to calm him down but then I'd notice he was just dreaming.
One night I walked in when he was calling for you and whimpering into his pillow. He was blaming himself Harry. He thought that it was his fault. But how could it have been his fault when really it was mine?
I should have noticed it. Noticed the changes.
You'd go out more often and come back drunk. You couldn't hold a steady relationship and you wore longer sleeves and more bracelets. You spent more time online and replied to more and more hate.