It's All I Know - The conclusion

Day 313 (Wednesday)

I’m a restless soul. Ah the open road. Rolling hills. I roll. I roll like the hills under a California sun until …

‘Hello sir how can the Buckinghamshire Police incident room assist you?’

‘I would like to report a dangerous driver. He failed to give way to me on the Chaffron-Silicone roundabout. I cycled out, had to brake hard when he didn’t slow or stop and he missed me by inches. I’ve got all the car details jotted down.’

‘Let’s start with you shall we.’

I answer a long list of personal data questions and feel quite exposed. Am I the criminal?

‘Were there any witnesses to the alleged incident?’

‘Alleged? It did happen you know.’

‘Any other witnesses. Sir?’

‘Yes. Me.’

‘No I mean other witnesses.”

‘I’m sure other drivers watched it happen but none stopped. I don’t have the speed to chase them down.’

‘Well it’s just your word, but if any other complaints come in we can match up problems.’

‘Problems? Match up? This isn’t a game of pairs y’know, this nutter nearly wiped me out.’

‘Language sir, there’s no need to get upset.’

‘Didn’t you hear what I just said? He failed to give way to me and nearly squashed me flat.’

‘Please do give me the car details and we will wait to see if other witnesses come forward.’

Hopeless.

There’s nothing to be done unless I’m dead or severely mangled apparently. And then there’d be somewhat of a one sided argument.

I've got it. Evidence, that's what I need. Undisputable documented evidence of the mental mayhem that’s out there on our roads. High quality video footage featuring starring roles for the exceptionally incompetent and uncaring. A 172 degree, HD quality, 32GB, mp4 helmet cam will do the trick. Burn from the SD card straight to an online post (I’m sure Ayleshia will be able to help me with an anonymous and appropriately secure website contribution!). Just the facts, as it happened and as it sounded. Cursing and screaming can be muted. Plus if I am splattered from here to kingdom come, and therefore unable to make that 999 call, they can pull the footage and nail the nutter to the wall. Time to search for a sale or some vouchers online again.

Day 314 (Wednesday)

It’s 200 quid for a helmet cam plus you need all the fixings. I may have to budget and scrimp and save for justice. Typical!

Day 315 (Thursday)

Across the city the grass is scrub brown where the cycleway network meanders through the grid road squares. The redway runs alongside dual carriageways and the humpy berms which are designed to keep the road noise from intruding on suburban family life. The berms are not particularly effective. Westward, the roads and paths fall away to run alongside the flood plain of the Great Ouse and its tributaries. Just there sunlight fights through the woodland cover, the fractured light splotches in mysterious shapes as my wheels roll over them. The rubber tyre contact patch is there and gone, a delicate but vital grip skimming the warmed tarmac. For a fleeting moment I am here and then I am somewhere else.