I Am Lacerta - Reposted for the Watty Awards 2011

I Am Lacerta Chapter 50

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I Am Lacerta Chapter 50 (it's been 50 chapters already?!?!?!)

Several seconds later we appeared in front of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. I raised an eyebrow at her and she replied, defensively:

"What? So I like ice cream?" I rolled my eyes.

"It's a little eccentric for breakfast don't you think?"

"No. Anyway, I thought you 'didn't eat'." she said indignantly, using air quotations to back up her point.

"I don't." I stated.

"What? Why?" she asked, caught out.

"When you get this far in, you've got no time to eat. And I doubt this place will still be here this time next year." I said, looking it up and down like it was dirty as we got into the queue.

"What do you mean?" I sighed.

"The Dark Lord has big plans." I stated. "He tells me things Aoife. And Florean Fortescue's blood isn't very pure if you know what I mean..." I trailed off and Aoife visbily gulped.

"Who else is on your hit list?" she asked.

"Well, anyone from this 'Order of the Phoenix' if they're at my mercy will probably end up dead. Lara Low's definitely on there too... quite a few people on this road actually... but I know for certain the next person on my list is Desdemona Jones." I muttered trailing off.

"You wouldn't kill your own cousin, would you? Tonks is in the Order..." she stated and I raised my eyebrows - everyone was in this damn Order, how come no one told me about it?

"That depends..I wouldn't kill my uncle Sirius and that's for certain.." I said trailing off, not confirming anything.

"She probably hates me anyway - she must think I betrayed her.." Aoife said sadly.

"What can I get you two young ladies?" Florean Fortescue asked from behind the till.

"Um.. a Toffee Banana Bliss to go please." she said before turning to me.

"Oh, nothing for me.." I said smiling as politely as I could at the man, but I don't think it looked very convincing.

"Oh have something - I'll let you have it on the house." he said kindly, but I refused again, not as polite as I was before - I was losing my patience.

"Ah, well if you're watching your weight, I have a no-fat ice cream-"

"I'm fine. Really." I snapped, all patience long gone. He just looked at me, stunned for a mintute before saying:

"One walnut whip, on the house.", before spinning around to fetch the ice cream with a wave of his wand. I rolled my eyes and Aoife snickered. 

"He's so persistent - if you'd refused him again he'd have probably shoved the ice-cream down your throat." she explained when I glared at her coldly. Before I could reply, he'd set the ice-creams down on the counter and was holding out his hand for money.

"There you go ladies, that'll be 15 sickles please." he said to Aoife. She rummaged around in her pockets and her eyes flew open as she realised she didn't have any money on her.