Christian Parenting
by Edward Bickersteth


"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your
hearts. You shall teach them diligently to your children. Talk about them
when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie
down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:6-7
"The Lord's curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the
home of the righteous." Proverbs 3:33
The republication of Legh Richmond's "Domestic Portraiture" is a
favorable opportunity for prefixing a few remarks on Christian
education, a most important part of every parent's duty, and the root of
innumerable future blessings. In doing this, the writer hopes, in some
measure, to concentrate within a short compass, the many truly
valuable exhortations and pressing entreaties to his children, by his
honored and beloved friend, Mr. Richmond, which this volume contains.
It is common to hear complaints, that the children of pious parents
disappoint the expectations which are usually and naturally formed; and
it is true that this is too often the case; and that in some instances
children piously educated, will, when they break through the restraints
of education and habit, become excessively wicked-and they may,
even like Eli's and David's children, perish in their wickedness. In these
extreme cases, there has probably been either some serious neglect of
parental duty, or the formation of unhappy friendships with others. At
least, every Christian parent is mute before God under such awful
dispensations, and is feelingly alive to the conviction of his own
sinfulness.
But, after all, the mass of Christian piety in a country will be found to be
in the generation of the pious; and though God shows his own
sovereignty in sometimes raising up an eminent instrument of good
from among the most wicked, he also shows the riches and the faith
fullness of his own promises: "The generation of the upright is blessed."
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not
depart from it."
It may be of use, briefly to notice some causes of lack of success, and
also to touch upon the means of a successful Christian education.
In considering the causes of lack of success, we must first notice
the disregard of one of the most important religious principles-a due
knowledge of which lies at the root of all success in this work-that all
children are by nature born in sin, and are children of wrath. They
inherit from their parents, a carnal mind, which is enmity against God.
However pious the parent, his nature is corrupt, and descends to his
children. From us they derive that nature, and all success in education
must be owing to God's blessing our efforts, and giving them his grace,
that they may gain dominion over their natural and inbred corruption.
The Christian parent will ever be watchful to detect the workings of this
corruption, even in those things which may appear to the eye of the
world, pleasing and delightful. That alone which is the fruit of the Spirit
-that alone which is superior to nature, will satisfy him. While he will
forward and cultivate whatever is lovely and of good report, he will be,
above all, anxious, that everything of this kind should proceed from
Christian principle, and not from the mere love of human praise.
The indulgence of parents, proceeding from an idolatry of their children,
is one of the most common sources of ill-success. This was the ruin of
Eli's and of David's children, and it is a cause which is constantly
operating in a vast variety of forms; such as indulgence in appetite, in
dress, in pleasures, in yielding to any obviously improper requests, and
in seeking rather to gratify their present wishes, than to secure their
future, their spiritual, and their highest good.
The inconsistencies of Christian parents in their conduct and
conversation, have a most pernicious influence over their children. The
spirit of the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the
pride of life, manifested by a parent-are eagerly and most naturally
imbibed by children. They are creatures of imitation in all things-but
they have a natural aptitude in imitating whatever is wrong. The bad
tempers, the haughtiness, the self-will of the parents-are very soon
indeed, copied by the child. Their admiration of riches, or rank, or talent
-naturally engenders similar inordinate views and feelings in their
children. Thus, our sins punish us in our offspring.