For the First Time | n.h.

Chapter Twenty-One

...It was months before the next time we saw each other. If you had asked me though, I would have sworn it had been years. I never really said it out loud Niall, but I hated to be away from you. Our time apart felt especially unbearable at the time because of everything that was going on in my life. I really needed you and wanted you to come home to me. Well, I guess ‘home’ isn’t exactly the correct term. I didn’t really have a home anymore. I had been living with Cassidy for a while and had stayed a few nights at your place. It was a terrible feeling; having nowhere to belong to. You changed that though...

I was absentmindedly picking at my fingernails when I heard Maura calling my name from the kitchen. Dazedly, I hoisted myself to my feet and followed the sound along with the smell of something cooking in the oven. I was getting used to that though. It seemed every time I spent the night at Niall’s house Maura had been cooking all day.

                When I entered the kitchen she gave me one of her usual smiles. I tried to return the gesture but lately my smiles always felt half-hearted. It had been really hard since my dad left. Time went on and I had to yet to ’get over it’ as people suggested I do. I still thought about it every day. It was a hard thing to grin and bear, being abandoned by someone. I wasn’t sure if saying that was overdramatic. Had he really abandoned me? I had spent a long time contemplating that and in the end decided that he did. It had been months and he still hadn’t come back...he wasn’t going to come back, was he?

                Maura knocked me out of my reverie by saying “Megan, hun, you alright?”

                I quickly nodded before plastering a smile on my face. “Yeah, uh sorry, what were saying Maura?”

                She gave me a shrewd smile, “I was just explaining that dinner is ready for tonight, make sure Niall eats when he gets home.”

                I laughed a little before something clicked in. “Wait, where are you going?” Niall was coming home that night so of course she wasn’t going anywhere...?

                She gave me a look, “Remember me telling you that Greg ruined his car?”

                I nodded, suddenly recalling the story about him hitting the curb and a pole in the process. “Idiot,” I muttered jokingly.

                She laughed, “Well it won’t be fixed for another few days so I’m going to have to pick him up.” She continued to explain that it was a bit of a drive so she might end up staying at her sister’s house for the night, which was in Greg’s area. Maura always hated driving at night. I nodded but couldn’t help but feel bad. Niall might be disappointed if he came home and I was the only one here. Nonetheless, I told Maura I would make sure Niall was well-fed and pampered like a princess. She rolled her eyes at me but ultimately laughed before grabbing her things and heading out the door.

                Niall hadn’t really specified exactly when he would home. When I asked earlier today he gave me the vague answer “tonight.” Well thanks. I was tempted to text him again and ask for a specific hour but I didn’t want to seem prodding or clingy. Lately, that’s how I felt I was behaving. It was just getting hard to tell how Niall was feeling. I wouldn’t say he had been distant, but he had definitely been different. Perhaps it just seemed that way since we had been apart for so long. I couldn’t be sure until I saw him. The thought of that moment was filling my stomach with butterflies. I was incredibly excited to see Niall while at the same time nervous.

                For these reasons, it was irritating not knowing exactly when he would be home. I decided I needed to waste time until that moment. There were a couple of books in my bag that were begging to be read and I indulged in the act. I curled up in the furthest corner of the soft sofa and began reading one that had particularly caught my eye at the bookstore. It was called Looking for Alaska. I was quickly engulfed in the literature and the implication of each sentence. I nearly finished it after a few short hours before my eyelids were drooping closed. Maybe if I just closed my eyes for a few minutes...