Escaping Death [Watty Awards]

Chapter 18-Memories

Chapter 18-Memories

I had to remember to keep a better guard when I was around Gwen.  She wasn’t the type to let something go, especially something that I had said.  No.  My slip up was going to stay engraved in her mind until she figured out what it meant.  Hopefully, she doesn’t take too much interest in the matter.  It was becoming more and more difficult to keep up with these pretenses.  Now that I had confessed my feelings for her, I didn’t have it in me to keep on lying to her. 

The plan had always been to get in and get out.  I wasn’t supposed to have stuck around for this long.  But I had-or rather we had made an error in the calculations.  I didn’t even know when the accident was going to occur anymore and reaching Calder had become impossible.  Something was happening back at home and that was the reason that no one was answering my calls.  The only thing that I could do was still be cautious around the time that Gwen’s accident happened.  Calder and I had calculated that the accident was going to be November but the time had come and went and nothing.  Whenever the event was suppose to happen, I would be there and save her and after I’d go back to my time.

A time without her in my life.

If I accomplished my mission it wouldn’t make a difference when I went back because it would mean that Gwen couldn’t be a part of my life.  She never can be.  There are rules that were written long ago about mortals and someone like me from ever being together.  Rules that were never in history broken.  Somehow, I knew that there was an exception in Gwen’s case.  It just didn’t make sense.  My father and the Council never interfered with a mortal’s life but then why were they interfering now with Gwen?  She was a mortal.  Unless, there was something different about her that they hadn’t told me.  Then again, no one in all of time had ever had two paths; two destinies but she could only take one; one that was not her decision to make.

Nonetheless, my presence here is a risk to altering the future.  The future is my present while her present is my past.  Changing it too much would alter what I go back to.  I just couldn’t possibly go back to how things were.  Not now, when I know how it feels to have Gwen in my life.  I can’t let her go so easily and just disappear like I did before.

I wondered if I could possibly change that.  If for some reason, she found out who I was, then things would change and there might be a slight chance of being with her in this time.  I would risk anything just so I could be with her and protect her.  My family would be against it and I would receive a punishment but none of that mattered because if they were so worried about Gwen, then she deserved to know who I am.  Who I truly am and I think I had an idea of how I would do that.

*****

With Christmas just a few days away and school out for the holidays, Gabriel and I decided that we would volunteer our time at a Soup Kitchen on Christmas Eve.  It had been two days seen the last time I had seen him.  I was completely fixated on what Gabriel said the other night and had gone through every possibility in what the word context could be.  But none made sense.  Gabriel wasn’t talking about the time when he was with me because he didn’t leave me...ever.

I needed to comfort him about it.  I was going to ask him what he meant when he came and picked me up.  I was going to demand to know what he meant without having him change the subject.  You need to just stop worrying about it, I told myself.  It was completely irrational to just jump to conclusions just because he slipped up.  But people just don’t say those kinds of things unless they were hiding something, I argued.

“Ughh!!”  I let out in frustration.

I was going insane.  I was arguing with myself and having a full on conversation in my head.  This was ridiculous, I needed to get a grip on reality and just let it go.  People make mistakes and Gabriel had just made a mistake.  I can’t just think negative things about Gabriel, I needed to trust him.  So far he hadn’t given me any reason to not trust him and that is the way that it should be.