So, What Pick-Up Line Actually Works On You?

Chapter Four - Dude, You Got Me A Kiddy Meal? Awesome!

Chapter Four – Dude, You Got Me A Kiddy Meal? Awesome!

Question: If you were went to a zoo with a Pervert Power Puff Boy, who’s lap you had sat on twice that day, who you recently found out was a virgin, all talk and no action, what would you do?

My Answer: Make him spend nearly a hundred euro on stuffed toys and key rings before even setting a foot in the actual zoo part of the zoo.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Rhys Brady spent nearly a hundred euro, €100, on stuffed lemurs and red pandas. Man, he must feel really bad for stealing my pen that night.

“God, you’re such a girl. Do you really need to remember every little thing you do?” Rhys whined, trying to juggle the six stuffed animals in his arms and doing surprisingly well. Little French children ran up to him, watching amusedly as he carted around all those stuffed animals. The gift shop had suddenly ‘run out’ of plastic bags.

My theory? They wanted to see how he’d carry them all.

“Dude, yes! I’m a dying little girl; I get three toy lemurs and three toy red pandas. Think of how much fun I’ll have playing with them!” I joked, digging him in the ribs with my elbow.

Rhys stared down at me disbelievingly, “You’re dying and you’re openly laughing about it? And besides, we both know you’d have more fun playing with me, darling.” I sighed as he winked, and whacked him squarely in the kidneys.

“And besides, I might take up your offer.” I murmured, talking to myself more than him. Maybe treatment would be good, and help me recover?

“My offer of playing with me?!” Rhys blurted, jaw dropped. I cocked my head to one side, and nodded mockingly; his expression would be priceless no doubt. He shook his head, eyes wide and obviously not trusting me for a second.

“Nah, I know what you’re on about, treatment for it. You’re not the easy type; you’re more the ‘go near me and I’ll rip your balls off unless I really, really, really, really like you’ type. And I respect you for that.” Rhys rambled, eyes anywhere but on me.

Aw, is the little player going soft? The little also sick player?

A wave of guilt throbbed through me, and I suddenly jumped onto Rhys. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly as I buried my head in his chest. Hey, he’s as sick as I am and bought me six stuffed animals. I don’t actually like him, he just deserves a hug.

The stuffed animals flew into the air as Rhys had let go of them when I had launched myself at him, and they landed around us with a roll of soft thuds when they bounced off the concrete. Rhys was rocking us slowly, and I noticed that he smelt nice; kind of like sleep and cotton candy. A weird mix to be perfectly honest, especially for a boy. Not that I was complaining.

“Stop smelling me.” Rhys laughed, pulling himself out of my embrace and ruffling my messy hair, making it even messier than before. He scampered around us, picking up the lemurs and red pandas while I stood still wondering what had I just done?

When he had finished, he handed the toys to an employee, “Je suis désolé, mais pourriez-vous prendre soin de ces quelques heures?” Rhys reeled off swiftly, a seductive smile playing on his lips as the female employee bobbed her head and blushed. She took all the stuffed toys off of Rhys and tottered away with them, but not before leaning in and giving him a French kiss.

Rhys stared after her with a shocked expression on his face, and mine must have mirrored his. Is this how French people acted? If so, that was ridiculous! I calmly walked towards the gate that was the entrance of the zoo and faced into the green booth.