Dangerous Insecurities

chapter seven

Thanks sooo much for the amazing new cover Steph!! I love it ((:

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Stacey's high pitched giggle filled the abandoned corridor and bounced off the walls, echoing back to us several times before slowly disappearing and leaving us in silence. The sound of her laughter made me want to smile too, but I wasn't in the mood. I kept thinking back to when

"No, it's okay, you talk," I whispered softly. The girl's lips moved at the same time that mine did, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. Again, I frowned, and again, so did she. I shook my head, trying to tell her that I didn't know what she was saying. But the sad girl in the mirror shook her head too.

That's when I realised the girl in the mirror was me.

The girl's - my - eyes widened in shock and we both gasped as recognition flashed across our features.

A loud giggled erupted in the room next to me and I jumped violently as the noise broke through my thoughts. I gasped and stumbled backwards. My mother's voice echoed down to men, as well as more laughter. A brilliant smile lit up my face. She was happy for once! Then I heard a man's voice. I glanced once more at the girl in the mirror then stumbled out of the bathroom. I tiptoed over to her room and pout my ear against the door, careful not to breathe too heavily. More laughter sounded from both the people inside. I heard my mum's name getting purred and then I heard some delicate moans.

That's all it took to unleash the loosely concealed pain.

My vision blurred completely and a sob worked its way through my body, making me tremble from head to toe. I scrunched my hands into fists hard enough to make my knuckles go white. Before it could completely burst free I pushed myself away from the door and ran downstairs. I grabbed my keys off the bench and ran over to the door. I slipped into my black ugg boots then pulled the door open. I ran without thinking. I had no idea where I was going. I just had to get away. Get away from the house. Get away from my mother. Get away from the man. Get away from everything.

Because I was so lost in my own thoughts, it took me about five minutes to realise it was raining. When the realisation finally struck, I didn't care. It was actually a good thing. The cold air wiped around me as I ran, further messing up my hair. I shrugged it off and just kept running. The rain helped. It made me feel better. I could cry as much as I wanted and nobody would notice.

When I finally stopped running, it was because I had reached a small little park. There was nobody else around, obviously considering it was pouring, so I walked over to the small little swing set that was hidden behind the rest of the faded play equipment and sat down. I glanced around me at the child's playground. It probably would have been great when it was new, but because it was old and because it bordered a massively overgrown and unkempt forest, it probably scared most people off.

The chains rattled when I first sat down.

 I didn't bother to move or to even swing like I was tempted to.

 I just sat there staring vacantly at the ground in front of me as my body trembled because of the cold.

I hadn't thought to bring a jumper.

A loud crack of thunder ripped through the sky and when I looked up, I was shocked to see it was dark. I looked around the empty area and felt loneliness consume me. If I wanted I could probably text Stacey and tell her to come join me, but I didn't want her at the moment. The only person I wanted right now was my dad. When mum had first started becoming what she was today, dad had stood by me and helped protect me. If she was ever drunk or stoned and was willing to harm me because of it, dad would step in and hold her off. He would talk to her. Tell her that she wasn't allowed to touch me. I loved my dad with all my heart... And he had left me. He had left me like the rest of the people in my life.