My Boss' Son

Chapter 86

Baby Zayn. Its not gonna be the same :'( Here is a chapter to try and help distract everyone momentarily. x

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“I can’t” I try not to laugh as Harry looks at me with the most serious look in his eyes but I can see the subtle smirk lingering on the corner of his mouth.

“Ella, c’mon” he sarcastically groans as he puts his head back on the pillow, looking up to the roof and then rolling his eyes.

“No Harry I can’t, that’s just too much pressure to put on ones shoulders” I joke, half serious yet also struggling to truthfully come up with and answer.

“Just choose” he smiles, turning his head towards me and closing his eyes as if he’s becoming impatient.

“You go first” I smile, turning onto my tummy and placing my hands under the pillow before laying back down.

Even though he is in the midst of a saddening situation right now, I’m glad we can have these small moments of laughter and fun. Harry will have moments where he zones out for bit, goes silent and doesn’t engage with me at all which is perfectly okay. If he needs space or time to collect himself then I’ll give it to him, whatever he needs I will try my best. And when he needs a break from reality to just chill out and have a laugh then I want to be the person he has it with.  I think I would have loved to have someone to have these small care free times with after what happened with my brother. The thought and pain is always there, but to have a small distraction or break from the harsh reality can be nice.

Harry lets out a huge sigh and shakes his head, making me laugh at his playfulness. He'd been trying to get me to pick my favourite friends character for the past 15 minutes. Both of us discussing the pros and cons of each character in the most serious yet sarcastic way.

“See, not so easy is it” I say, raising an eyebrow at him and he gives me a half-hearted smile before looking up to the ceiling once again although this time I can see his thoughts are elsewhere.

His smile starts to fade, and I can tell by his saddened eyes that the reality of his dad is looming over him once again. It’s like a continuous repeat of a tidal wave. Everything is calm and then all of a sudden this one huge rush of a wave knocks you back again and again taking you deeper underwater every single time.

I mindlessly start tracing my fingers across his tattooed chest, quietly and patiently waiting for him to either talk to me about it or to leave it for now and start chatting about anything but that subject.

Thinking about it pains me. It’s a deep pain eating at the inside of my chest yet at the same time it’s a feeling of emptiness and longing. That emptiness being the spot that was once held by such an amazing man who would do anything for the ones he loved.

I'm not sure if it it's quite hit me yet that he is really gone. It seems so unrealistic I can barely fathom the thought of living without him here.

Harry’s fingers suddenly cover mine, his thumb gently rubbing the backs of knuckles and I’m glad for the distraction as I was on a thought pattern that would lead me once again to tears.

He’s still looking away somewhere far in the distance, one hand behind his head supporting it while the other gently strokes mine. I watch as our hands curl and stroke one another, randomly moving around as both of our thoughts wonder off.

I study the rings on his fingers, grazing the pad of my thumb along the cold thin metal with every chance I get before moving onto his cross tattoo.

Moments later Harry entwines his hand with mine, bringing it to his lips and giving it a soft kiss.

I give him a small smile though I can tell he can see the sympathy it holds as he gives me the exact same one back. We are both hurting but I’m happy we are here for each other.