Redemption (Chapter 31)

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Later that night

Back in the silo was a bittersweet welcome party for Joe. While everyone had known the risks of sending the squadrons after the zeds, everyone had also hoped more would return home. I didn't stick around when people started grilling Joe about what happened out there. I had no doubt the man had been through a far worse hell than any of us.

Clutch had already disappeared to his tiny office in the lowest floor of the silo to catch up on the daily logs since we'd been gone. I hit the shower and stood under the hot spray for my entire five-minute ration. With my skin still steaming, I headed up to my dorm. I rifled through my backpack and pulled out the special items I had bartered for at the capital and hid from Clutch.

I set the bottle of wine and corkscrew down on the mattress. I pulled off my T-shirt and pants and slipped on the dress. Before the outbreak, I never would've worn anything like it. It was a slim-fitting, tiny white thing with spaghetti straps and dainty roses printed on the sheer fabric. It was as much a nightgown as a dress, but it fit perfectly. My shoe wardrobe consisted of two pairs of hiking boots, so I decided to go barefoot.

I stood in front of a small mirror. I tried to look past the jagged scar on my forehead and circular scar on my calf where I'd been shot. Hell, I had so many scars now, they crisscrossed my skin like spider webs Then again, Clutch bore far more scars than I did.

I didn't have model looks before the outbreak; I certainly didn't have them now. Curves had toned into lean muscle. My face had lost its softness. Taking a deep breath, I tried to focus instead on the dress and how it fit my body. Get 'em where I want 'em. I grinned, thinking of the one rule I had set for myself during the early days of the outbreak. It had meant that whatever happened, I needed to take control to get things to work out so I could survive. I'd never thought it applied to anything except fighting zeds. Until now.

I grabbed the wine and searched around until I found two red plastic cups.

"Holy shit, why are you wearing that?" Jase asked, startling me.

I nearly dropped the bottle. "Jesus. You about gave me a heart attack."

"She can wear what she wants, Silly," Hali scolded, giving me a knowing smile.

I scowled at Jase and walked past the pair. "Like Hali said, I can wear what I want."

"Have fun," Hali said.

"Where's she going?" I heard Jase ask as I entered the hallway.

I hurried down the steps, not wanting to run into anyone else. If Griz saw me, he'd never let me live it down. Fortunately, most folks were already in bed. My feet flew down the stairs until I reached the right floor.

Clutch's office door was open, and I peeked in to see his nose buried in a stack of paper. I knocked and stepped in the doorway. "Got a minute?"

"Yeah," he grumbled, dropped his pen, and looked up. His features changed from exhaustion to shock in an instant. I had no idea how I didn't laugh at the expression on his face. I'd never seen his mouth drop so quickly. He shuffled his papers to the side in a rush. "Yeah, um, yeah, come in."

He came to his feet rather clumsily, like a schoolboy, and I grinned. He seemed to struggle finding words. "You look nice tonight. I mean, you look better than nice." He finally settled with, "You look really good."

I held up the bottle of wine. "Happy Birthday."

His lips slowly curved upward. "I didn't think anyone knew."

I shrugged. "You told me once, a long time back. We never seem to get the chance to celebrate things like birthdays anymore, so I thought tonight would be as good as any to sneak in a little celebration."

He smiled. "I like that idea."

I shut and locked the door and gave him a mischievous grin. "I don't plan on sharing this wine. I had to trade my machete for it."

He frowned. "Your machete? You shouldn't—"

"I have another one under my bed." I set the bottle, corkscrew, and cups on the table. "Now, do you want a birthday party or not?"

He came to his feet. "Hell yeah. I can't remember the last time I did something on my birthday." He went to work at opening the bottle. He glanced up every couple of seconds while I watched. He filled each cup with the red wine, nearly draining the bottle, and he handed me my cup. "You do look really good."

"Thank you." I took a sip, watching him.

He took a drink, eyed me, and then took a longer drink. After a deep breath, he set his cup down, took mine, and set it down next to his.

He kissed me softly on the lips. "You asked me to say the words once. I couldn't do it. Not then. I was afraid that if I said them, something would happen, and you'd be gone." He swallowed. "But, I can say them now. I love you. With every fiber of my being, I love you." His shoulders relaxed as though a weight had been lifted.

"I know," I whispered. "But, I like hearing you say it."

He then gave me a kind smile. He deepened the kiss, our tongues meeting for a slow, passionate dance. Our bodies pressed tighter together, moving in a rhythm only we could feel.

He broke the kiss, and his smile widened then, enough to show the wrinkles at his eyes. He lowered himself, kissing first my neck, then moving a strap aside to kiss my collarbone. His kisses were innocent, yet they sent tingles across my skin. Already, my breaths were coming faster. His hands ran down my shoulders, my hips, my thighs, and then came back up under my dress. He chuckled when he realized I wasn't wearing underwear.

I held on to him; his heart pounded under my palm. He pressed tighter against me, and I wrapped a leg around him. I felt a shudder surge through him, rippling down his body into mine. He stared at me, the wildness on his face making my heart pound harder. Unable to stand it anymore, I tugged off his shirt as he unbuttoned his pants and shoved them down. He lifted me off the floor and took me right then and there. In perfect rhythm, he kissed me, devouring, violently satisfying kisses as he drove into me.

We made love, and it was sublime.

For the next hour, he went about showing me exactly how he felt about me, until someone pounded on the door.

"Hey, I know you guys are in there," Griz's voice yelled out. "These walls are thin, you know."

Clutch threw a stapler at the door. "Go away," he yelled back before grinning down at me.

"Come on," Griz yelled. "Wrap things up in there. Deb's water broke. She's having the baby!"

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