Chapter 18: "Deadly Deserving"

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Rick wakes the next morning with Carl by his side, no longer looking at grey but instead the green around him. The feeling of holding Judith in his dreams was cut short by screaming and with relief, he realises it’s not his son who was making the noise.

Jumping up from the floor, he unzips the tent, eyes following around for the source of the noise until he realises it’s Tara, whose laughing- it’s part screech and part giggle- as Michonne stares at her.

He never really considered the possibility that the samurai might be interested in girls until he saw the way she looked at Tara. He’s relieved she’s found someone but another bit of him is jealous.

“Morning,” he announces, Michonne whipping her head to look at them. “You guys seem happy.”

Tara holds out Nevaeh, smiling at him. “Take the little tike?” she asks. “I found something and I want to show my-“

Rick raises an eyebrow at her, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You found something and you want to show your friend?” he offers, knowing that it might not be exactly what she wanted to say but it saves her the embarrassment of having to finish her sentence.

“Yeah,” she says slowly. “My friend.”

The ex-sheriff takes the child without complaint, noticing how alike she is to Glenn and Maggie. She has Maggie’s brown hair and Glenn’s eye shape as well as skin but the eyes are definitely her mother’s, so full of new life. The child has the best features of both her parents. Rick misses them, Glenn and Maggie, and despite the older Greene’s attitude towards her sister and Daryl, he realises that maybe she was like that because of the hormones of pregnancy.

She had miscarried twice before she gave birth to her daughter, not that anyone knew but himself. He’d been there to clean up the mess, to bring her back things on runs to help her. Often she had a small list- chocolate, batteries, tissues, among other things- and he didn’t bother to ask why she needed any of it, he just checked to see if she wanted anything and accepted her grocery list every time.

No one knew but him and remembering it was painful. He and Maggie had been close- they’d been friends- and no one knew, just saw the way they smiled in passing but no one heard them behind closed doors, laughing and giggling and tell jokes. They’d been best friends and no one even knew.

Rick watches the girls walk away, Tara’s hand unmistakably reaching for Michonne’s.

His dream still haunts him, the feeling of Judith cradled in his arms makes his heart stop and feeling Chloe’s lips on his once again only to wake was a cruel reminder of how life will inevitably screw you over. Many of the people in that dream were dead, just distant memories.

He hands off Nevaeh to Brie soon after, who mutters under her breath how she misses her old family. It probably wasn’t intended for him to hear but he heard anyway. She couldn’t take the words back if he tried.

Sighing, he watches Beth emerge from the forest surrounding them, hands full of logs, Daryl’s flannel hanging loosely over her small, under-fed frame. She’s pretty and after being with her for almost seven years, he is glad she’s survived. They’ve lost Hershel and Maggie and she outlived them both. All those years back on the farm, who would’ve thought?

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 24, 2015 ⏰

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