Captive

Chapter Twenty Six

Authors Note: We're close to being done. Just so you know it gets mature towards the end. If you don't like that then please skip over it. Just a warning. It isn't much detail so you shouldn't have to worry too much. 

Thanks again for everyone's support. 

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I leaned against the wall outside Zaleck’s door. I reached up, pressing my hands into my face as I slowly slid down, back pressed to the wall. My legs crumpled under me easily as I tried to breathe carefully. I wasn’t crying, but I was having a hard time dealing with my feelings.  

I stayed there for a moment. I could do better than this. I picked myself up, straightened and walked down the hall. I was done. I wasn’t going to let this eat me alive for tonight. I entered into the waiting area and saw India standing.

She smiled softly and I forced myself to look happy. I wasn’t sad that Zaleck was okay I was angry with myself. I was angry because I was afraid to tell him. I knew that there was a reason that he had come all this way and was so worried about me. So why couldn’t I just let myself try?

Because I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll lose him again. I’m afraid because of losing others. I’m afraid because I didn’t think it was possible for me to be with him in my own kingdom. I sighed, quietly before recovering and moving to India.

“How is he?” She asked, smiling brightly.

“Good, still a little bruised. I wanted to let him rest tonight. But I think he’d probably like if you see him.” I said, trying to keep my voice light. It wasn’t too difficult. I’d worked on covering up my whole life.  

“Wonderful. How did it go with you two? It looks like you’re happy.” She said, her smile still firmly planted on.

I hesitated, and I could see India’s eyes flash, “Good. It is hard, but I’m not too worried about it. It’s hard to talk to him now because he’s still tired.” I put in quickly, seeming to ease India.

“Okay.” She said, shifting in place.

“Go see him,” I said easily, giving a warm smile, “If you need somewhere to stay I’d love for you to come with us.” I added, watching India light up.

“Perfect. I won’t be too long.” She said before prancing off down the hall.

I watched her go, letting my smile slip away. I felt my shoulders get heavy as I rubbed my temples. I was startled as my mother cleared her throat behind me. I turned to face her, not feeling the need to smile.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” She asked, her eyes steady on mine, not letting me get away with it this time.

“I’m…” I took in a heavy breath. If I could tell someone, it’d be her, “I’m worried he doesn’t love me. I couldn’t tell him, not now.” I paused, hoping it would be enough for her. I knew that when she didn’t answer she was waiting for the rest of it. Did I have to tell her? It was killing me keeping it in. So I started, “I don’t know what I was thinking. How could I ever be with someone like him? He’s from Trittan! Everyone hates him. He killed some of our men. How could I love him for doing that? It isn’t possible for him to be with me. The people would hate me. I couldn’t do that to Dane. I’m sure everyone already knows what is going on. Zaleck could never rule with me.” I spilled it all, speaking quickly, afraid that if I stopped I wouldn’t be able to continue.

I waited, my mother standing quiet for a few seconds. And then her lips curled up into a smile and I frowned even more. “Oh Sage,” She said, shaking her head, “You can’t please everyone in Dane. You’ve got to learn that. People aren’t always going to be happy. But the one thing I’ve learned from being Queen and I know your father certainly learned too is that if you are unhappy then the people of Dane will be unhappy. It shows Sage.” I looked down, staring at the floor between my shoes, “They will forgive you. They will forgive him. Trust me.”