Currents

Twenty-three ~ Twists

Twenty-three ~ Twists

"Single."

The word tasted funny as I said it out-loud to myself in the mirror, hoping that would help it sink in.

Alastair was gone. Well, not completely gone. Whether or not I liked it, he was part of me; he'd been a part of me for a very long time, by my side as I'd grown from an inexperienced girl to a confident woman.

Despite that, I still felt like I'd changed more this summer than during the last three years. I'd had a glimpse of something different, something that had transitioned from a distressing unfamiliarity to a comforting contrast.

But Alastair was more than a place, an environment, an etiquette. He was a familiar presence with whom I'd shared memories and milestones. My first boyfriend. My first lover. A comfort. Rock. Pain in my backside. Someone with an uncanny knack to both protect me and make me feel vulnerable.

I could leave London, but Alastair's impact on my life would stay with me, wherever I went.

"Ah, Rosalie," Mum said when I strolled into the kitchen and yanked open the fridge door. "It's such a shame Alastair had to leave early..."

"Business calls," I said as I pulled out a yoghurt and let the door the swing shut after me.

I hooked my foot around the leg of a dining chair to drag it back from the table, then sat down on it, tearing the lid off my yoghurt.

"It's just a pity about the wedding," she said. "In the excitement of Alastair arriving, I added him to the guest list as a precaution."

"Yeah, that is a shame," I said, with as much regret as I could muster. "I'm sure everything will still go smoothly, though."

"Hmm," she murmured to herself in contemplation. "This is such an enormous opportunity. If I impress here, I might create a new client-base out in the US. It'd be good to expand overseas."

She finished wiping down the worktops and strolled to the sink to wring out the cloth. I watched her do it, humming an unknown tune to herself as she continued to potter about, and wondered if it made her happy having control over every aspect of her life.

It would explain why she liked to influence my life and choices. I knew she wanted what was best for me—we just disagreed on what that was. She believed it to be stability, whereas I believed it to be happiness.

I wanted to be honest with her and admit that Alastair and I were over, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Things were good between us at the moment, and I didn't want to risk rocking the boat or disappointing her. The scariest thing about admitting the truth isn't saying the words; it's seeing the reaction.

~~~

"Pizza is one of the greatest inventions on Earth." Mia sighed in bliss, tearing off a slice of Pepperoni.

I nodded my agreement as I munched through my own slice, my hand poised beneath my chin to catch any dripping cheese. We sat cross-legged on my bed with two large pizzas between us and an open bottle of wine.

"Pizza cures everything," I said. "So, how are things with Austin?"

"We talked. It was weird seeing him be serious with me for a change and... I don't know... maybe I preferred it when we had a fun relationship."

She paused to bite off a mouthful of pizza. Swallowing, she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and then reached down for her glass.

"It's gone from one extreme to another," she said, after she'd taken a sip. "Funny and flirtatious to serious and affectionate."