How Can I Keep Walking?

Battle Scars

"The wounded recognized the wounded."

"It hurts.." Allen's mind chanted over and over again, his vision fading in and out. "Oh god..It hurts so much.." He could feel the blood rushing from his nose, causing a sticky mess to seep over the sides of his face and down his bare chest. He could just faintly make out the sounds of Cross' boots against the wood floors, signaling that he was done.
The floor felt cool underneath his feverish skin. Allen pulled himself up on unsteady legs and made his way to his room. He wanted nothing more than to curl up and be forgotten, but he knew there was no chance of that happening. The mental strain that was put on him, like a piece of paper trying to hold up a boulder, was something he could handle. The sexual abuse was something that was rare but when it did happen, Allen wanted to disappear, more than usual anyways.
It was now 3:27 in the morning and Allen knew he would have to go to school tomorrow with fresh bruises and a brand new box of excuses. Recently, he had been running low on ways to lie to his friends without breaking or being too obvious with his lies. As he lay in bed, he tried to think of excuses but he was so numb he couldn't bring himself to think of lies. He would just skip school, maybe go into town and hide out in the arcade for the rest of the day. Sure it would hurt his grades, but it was so rare that he wasn't at school (to escape Cross) that he didn't think his teachers would mind too much.
Slowly, Allen's eyes slid shut, sending him off into a blissful state of mind.

----Next Morning----

Allen was up, showered and ready to go before Cross woke up. Allen had learned that speed was a strength of his, so he used it to his advantage. As he closed the door to his house, he noticed a familiar car parked acrossed the street.
Allen could feel his hopes deflate as he made his way down his yard, watching Lavi exit his car. "You were stupid for thinking that you could get away with it..." Allen reminded himself.
"Hey Allen!" Lavi called his usual cheerful voice. "I thought I'd give you a ride. Lenalady and Kanda decided to walk. Something about not trusting me. What jerks!" Lavi pursed his lips and got back in his car.
Allen heaved a mental sigh as he kept his head down and began talking to Lavi. "I.. I'm not going to school today Lavi, sorry.." his snow white hair covered his face as he refused to look at Lavi. There was a silence that hung in the air between them before Lavi finally spoke.
"Look at me." Allen tilted is head slightly to look at Lavi from the corner of his eye. "What..?"
Lavi quickly got out of his car and opened the door for Allen. "Get in, we aren't going to school." Lavi said with a tone he rarely ever used. "Probably because he's only serious when it comes to you." His head whispered.
Allen nodded and got into Lavi's car, squeezing his bag to his chest. Lavi made his way to the driver side and got in, taking off as soon as the engine started. "You don't have to tell me what happened Allen," Lavi said, his eyes focused on the road. "But you do have to tell me why you never ask for help. no matter what it is, homework, money, driving, food. You never ask for help, why?"
Allen knew he wasn't trying to be invasive, but if he told Lavi why, then it would be the same as telling him all the things that happpened to him when he was younger. Allen simply shrugged and smiled at Lavi with the best of his ability "I just don't need help Lavi." He said simply.
Lavi gripped his steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white and he slammed on the breaks, giving Allen a look of disbelief. "Yes, you do Allen. You may not want to admit that you do, but you do. Why won't you let us help you!" Lavi's voice trembled at the end of his sentence as his green eyes pierced into Allen.
Allen knew that he couldn't tell his friends, and Fuck does that sound shitty, but if he did then it would be worse for him. They'd hate him for lying to them, and they would leave him behind because he is broken, useless. After a few moments of silence, Lavi sank back into his seat, the interior beneath him squeaking from the leather being pulled on. "Allen, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.. I won't force you to say anything, but the only way any of this will get better is by trusting us.." his voice was soft, though, Allen couldn't see his face since he was looking out the opposite window.
"Listen to that," his mind whispered "they trust you, you piece of shit. What have you been doing? Lying, betraying & deceiving them." Allen tried to shake the thoughts from his head, but they stuck to him, nagging at him over and over. He couldn't tell anyone. He'd be out from this nightmare soon enough, so there was no point in worrying them.
He turned to Lavi and smiled at him, touching his shoulder gently, as he had done to him so many times before "I understand Lavi, I'll make sure from now on that if I need anything, you'll be the first one I come to. Okay?" He decided that the least he could do was go to him if he needed help. Just.. not with Cross. Lavi's body seemed to relax at his touch and he nodded, his red hair getting into his beautiful green eyes. "Alright Snow, I'll hold ya to that." As Lavi said this, he turned to him with a smile on his lips.
Lavi pulled out of the parking lot that he had come to a stop in, his body seeming to relax the further they drove.
Sometimes Allen found himself wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with Lavi. Although he knew Lavi liked both women and men, it was hard to picture exactly what type he was in to. Lavi was both attractive and charming so he didn't think that he'd get bored easily if they did date. Allen's face flushed a soft pink color as he thought of his best friend. It was normal to think of friends that way.. right? The more Allen thought, the longer he found himself staring at Lavi. He realized Lavi was speaking to him but he was mesmerized by his lips and the way they moved when he spoke his name. Somehow, in between thinking of Lavi and watching his lips when he spoke, Allen blurted something he didn't mean to say.
"Lavi, will you go out with me?"

---A/N---
plot twist at the end. Don't worry, it's still a yullen. Think of this as the gateway to expanding Allen & Kanda's relationship.
Also, sorry it took a month or so to post this. Thank you for the support and questions guys. See you next time