"This year I resolve to be a better husband." Joe once again told his wife just after midnight on New Year's Eve. It was a promise he meant at the time but that he never seemed to be able to fulfill throughout the year.

New Year's Resolutions often end because of forgetfulness and lack of conviction. The beginning of the New Year is always a great time to come up with a list of things that will make your life easier and better and make the world a better place. But what happens on February 1st? Most people don't even recall making the resolution! For some people January 2nd is long enough for the memory to fail. I speak from experience. I know that life just goes back to normal and brilliant New Year's Resolutions are not even on my radar anymore!

Meet Joe and Della. Their marriage was a bit rocky. It had lots of great bits. There were the two children and the summer vacations and the social whirl. But spending time together was pretty dicey. It was New Years Eve. They'd just sang "Auld Lang Syne" and kissed everyone in the room - friends they'd hung out with for years - and now they were in each others arm for the next waltz. They gazed into each other's eyes - caught up in the emotion of the moment. They committed to making their marriage more meaningful to each other. They vowed to listen more and to spend time doing things together that each other enjoyed. "I love you," said Joe "this year we'll spend more quality time together, I promise." Della smiled and put her head on Joe's shoulder "Yes, things will be better." She vowed.

The next day, they slept in a bit late, due to the late party night and when they pulled themselves out of bed, they had to quickly get the kids up and everyone attacking the chores so that the house was tidy and the meal was in the oven before all the grandparents arrived for New Year's Day Dinner. It was a rush.

And then it was back to work and taking the children to their events and lessons. Joe and Della settled back into their life in the normal manner they had become accustomed to. Della had lunch with her girlfriends and they complained about the ways the husbands act. Joe went to the gym with his buddies and they made derogatory comments about wives and how they just never understood what a man was really about.

Neither Joe nor Della thought too much about the other partner or their New Year's Resolution and life went on. The story repeated itself for a decade or more.

The disappointing ending is that even though on New Years Eve, there were promises of a better life, neither Joe nor Della ever got around to thinking about how they could carry these promises out. When Della and Joe finally decided to move into separate homes it just seemed natural. The marriage had ended long before the split.

This is a sad story but it doesn't have to be your story. If you are committed to having a better relationship and if you focus on making your relationship better each day, then you have an excellent chance of having a good marriage or relationship, it can even become a great marriage.

Only about 8% of New Year's Resolutions actually are met. So why even make them? If you want to commit to a goal and take the steps to carry it through then it's a good thing.

I've worked with one colleague who makes Goals Boards every New Years Day and then she puts it up in her office and checks it every so often to make sure she is getting her pictures into a reality. I've made those boards with her a couple of years and I found it was a lot of fun and yes, I kept it on my wall, and referred to it throughout the year. My husband wasn't so crazy about doing it and he made a half hearted stab at it. It didn't work for him because he wasn't interested. Important lesson: it doesn't work if you don't want it to work!

How do you keep a New Year's Resolution?

1. When you make a resolution it must be something that you actually want. Tony Robbins has taught me that we make more powerful changes to avoid something painful than just going to something that we want. If our life is going along ok to start with, we might not be motivated enough to make any change even though it will make our lives better.

2. We can't make resolutions or set goals for other people. We can only create goals and change for ourselves.

3. Realize that you can create goals and new ways of making your life and your relationship better at any time of the year. New Years is just one place to start.