In Sickness And Health ~Shikamaru~

Chapter 39

The run to the hospital was a blur. I knew something was wrong. I knew it! But I let them drag me away anyway! I could see it, I could feel it! The doctor was waiting for us at the hospital entrance with an expression I have never seen on him before. Instead of the tired doctor I had come to know, a scared man stood there, a cigarette in his mouth and foot tapping. He had something crumpled in his hand.

"Doctor, what the hell is going on?!" I couldn't recognize my own voice.

"Reira's surgery is being moved up to pretty much now for emergency reasons." We walked briskly down the hall and up the stairs.

"What emergency?! What happened?!"

He stopped and turned to look at me with a pained expression. "She made a connection, Shikamaru!" She... what? "The nurse went in to give her breakfast. She had stayed up all night and this was found in her hands. She was writing it over and over again! We had to knock her out to save her."

The paper in his hand was held out to me. Alsono choked on her tears when she saw what was on the paper, Choji put his head on my shoulder, and I... My chest was on fire. I didn't know what to do or say or even feel. Shakily, I took the paper and gently smoothed the wrinkles out and tried to force a breath down my throat. The characters that spelled my name were scratched over and over again on the paper.

There were places where she had pressed to hard on the paper with her pen and it had torn or left an ink stain. Almost the entire paper was covered. She had figured out who I was... Lord knows I wanted to be happy about that. But I could be. Because that meant she had done the one thing that could mean her death. "Where is she?" I asked, putting the paper down.

He motioned for us to follow. Once again we were rushing through the hospital, until he stopped at the door that lead to the operating prep room. "We start in five minutes. Go see her. Lord knows..." He couldn't finish his sentence, but we all knew what he was going to say. Lord knows it might be last time. Taking a breath, I went in.

There she was. My precious Reira... She slept soundly on the gurney in a standard white hospital dress. There was black rings under her eyes. She really had been up all night. Her hair was in tangles and I unconsciously ran my fingers through them. This might be the last time I get to see her. It might be the last time I get to touch her.

There were things I wanted to say to her in case she didn't come out of this. I didn't have long with her. But I had just enough time to say what I needed to. So, I once again took her hand in mine.

"I'm sorry." It was a simple line, but somehow, it was the one line I wanted to say the most. "Atari was right. It was my fault you became like this. If I hadn't met you and started talking to you and introduced you to Al and Choji and Ino... maybe you wouldn't be like this..." My lips gently pressed to her fingers as I gazed down at her. That beautiful face. I love her smile. "But I know that's not what you would have wanted."

All our times together started to play in my head. Her laugh is infectious and I've never seen her smile more than the day she met my parents. I want to lay in the grass in front of the hospital with her again and point out shapes in the clouds. I want our life to go on. "You wanted to talk and grow and be someone better than a dependent in the longterm ward. You became an inspiration in my eyes. It was your strength and gentle innocence that drew me to you, I see that now. The first day I met you, what I saw in your eyes was a determination burried deep that was begging for someone to set free.

You are such a happy person... even considering everything, you smile and laugh and... and I love you. I love you so much Rei. If you can hear me... please... fight. Use that strength and determiation. Live. Not for me... but for you. Live." I leand down and pressed a kiss to her head, letting go of her hand just as the doctor came in the room.

"We're ready." He came over and put a hand to the gurney, but paused and looked to me. "I'm not going to promise anything, but I swear, I will do everything I can to get her through this." A nod was all I could give and he told me I could stay in he prep room to watch through the glass if I wanted. I left the room briefly to get a drink and tell Alsono and Choji where I would be.

"Are you sure you want to be in there?" Choji askd.

"Yeah... I just... want to be as close to her as possible..."

Alsono pushed something into my hand and gave me a solemn look. She didn't say anything and took Choji's hand to find a seat in the waiting room. In my hand... was a full pack of my brand of cigarettes. God bless that woman. I popped one in my mouth and dug around in my pocket for a lighter as I walked back around the corner to the prep room.

This was finally it.