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The Machine Inside The Woman

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“I vowed to myself that when I learn to love myself, that I was going to express it to others with hopes of helping them to look at themselves as being stronger and better than any obstacle. This book isn't just about being an abused spouse- it's about being a survivor PERIOD... I have had quite a few life- altering experiences occur in my lifetime- only to stand before the world and say that I've claimed my victory over it all. I don't mind being a living and breathing testimony- I want to share my battles with self worth- loathing and anger- but also share my moments where I became more than a conqueror over it all because of my faith and  willingness to just allow myself to HEAL and learn to love again- STARTING WITH ME.”

Kandayia “JagudEye” Ali

Author Of “The Machine Inside The Woman” © 2012

Self-Published Author, Journalist & Community Activist

Please contact author for booking, public speaking & info: UrbanArts3000@gmail.com;

Call Us: 305-771-4779

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Preface & Acknowledgements

I know that this book is sorta different from others that most have read- or even found themselves attracted to. The Machine Inside The Woman is filled with thoughts and emotions stemming from deep inside of me. I have been through alot in my life and still have more events to encounter in my future. The difference now, is that I have decided to allow only positive things that speak highly of me occur in my life. I am a firm believer in being strong- or at least building yourself up to conquer that which, under normal circumstances, would have you oppressed.

The one thing in my life that I longed for but never really have had the chance to actually have in my past was someone to listen and understand what was going on inside of me. There was so much pain and frustration in my life; I often times have thought that I wasn't going to make it to see the next day. I constantly worried about my children and their well-being while finding myself somewhat 'trapped' inside of an abusive marriage. The only thing I wanted for my life was for it to either get better or for it to end. Either way seemed fine with me at the time. Nothing in my life seemed to be right. No one seemed to care that I was hiding the anguish in plain sight.  See, I was abused - until I decided to stand up for myself, I got out of my abusive marriage- only to find myself going through other forms of abuse and agony. Was I tormenting myself? Would I ever get it together? At first, the answer to me was NO... Eventually, I got weary of slamming the door of opportunity closed in my own face.

In 2005-2010- I took a few months to 'reintroduce' me to myself. It was awkward at first. but by doing so, it opened up my mind to what was missing in my life. I WAS. I had found myself wrapped up in running from one dead relationship to another. Finding pain every which way I turned. Dealing with people who would NEVER commit to me- or even come close to loving me the way I was willing and ready to love them. Was I ready to love anyone? Was I ready to give my life and love to someone? All I could remember was the feelings of betrayal and neglect on so many levels. I couldn't complain then- because I too neglected myself. I had to learn the hard way to love myself again. No one was there to show me how...

I vowed to myself that when I learn to love myself, that I was going to express it to others with hopes of helping them to look at themselves as being stronger and better than any obstacle. This book isn't just about being an abused spouse- it's about being a survivor PERIOD... I have had quite a few life- altering experiences occur in my lifetime- only to stand before the world and say that I've claimed my victory over it all. I don't mind being a living and breathing testimony- I want to share my battles with self worth- loathing and anger- but also share my moments where I became more than a conqueror over it all because of my faith and  willingness to just allow myself to HEAL and learn to love again- STARTING WITH ME...

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