Room 317

A Final Farewell

“Are you nervous?” Louis mumbled, tilting his head up slightly from where it was resting against Harry’s warm chest. They still had about twenty minutes before they had to get up out of their cosy cocoon and Louis wanted to make it last as long as possible. Sure, things were a lot more laid back these days now that the kids were older but… quiet, affectionate moments like this were still too few and far between for his liking.

Harry looked down at him softly – his stubble rasping a little against the duvet as his head moved. Louis stared up at him and smiled as he noted how Harry’s eyes were still as youthful and innocent as ever, despite their growing years.

Harry smiled back sleepily, wrinkling his nose a little. “A little,” he admitted after a few thoughtful moments, “but I think I’m more excited rather than nervous though... Why?” he tilted his head down further to brush his nose against his husband’s affectionately – loving how Louis’ eyes crinkled up in delight at the gesture. “Are you nervous, Boo?” He asked softly.

Louis sighed and tucked his head back down onto Harry’s chest, wanting to instantly deny any nerves but… he knew he couldn’t lie – not to Harry. For a moment he prolonged speaking by letting his fingers walk idly over Harry’s rib cage. The bones were noticeable through the fabric and Louis liked how soft the worn cotton of his husband’s t-shirt felt against his cheek as well as the pads of his fingers. The smell that encased them was achingly familiar of ‘sleepy-morning them’ and gave Louis comfort in its slightly musty warmth. “A little,” he confessed. It was obvious from his tone, even to him, though, that his ‘little’ was a bit more than Harry’s. He felt Harry shift underneath him and closed his eyes as his husband’s warm fingers reached up to caress his cheek. It was ridiculously how moony-eyed he still felt whenever Harry was gentle with him. Surely, by now, the novelty should have worn off… But no, Louis stomach still fluttered as much as it did forty years ago. Sappy fool that he was.

Stretching his body up a little so that his nose was pressing into Harry’s collarbone, Louis let the warmth of skin and stroking fingers start to soothe his bubbling insides.

“What are you nervous about?” Harry rumbled lowly as he stroked Louis’ cheek idly with his thumb.

“I don’t know really,” Louis admitted, closing his eyes again. “I don’t even think it’s really nerves… it’s just…” he struggled to find a way to explain it. “It just feels like today is the end of something big,” he sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy that today is happening but… I can’t help but think this was inevitable and that we’re about to lose as much as we gain.”

Harry swallowed loudly and wrapped his arms tighter around Louis’ smaller frame, kissing his forehead sweetly. He knew exactly what Louis meant and, like his spouse, he couldn’t even let his head contemplate the idea of what they might be losing from today, let alone put it into something real like words.

“It’ll be fine,” he said softly. “What will come will come – we’ll just have make sure today is amazing enough that it’ll make everything else worth it.”

Louis nodded, kissing the stubbly skin under Harry’s jaw softly. “Okay…” he murmured. “We’ll try our best.”

“I love you,” Harry murmured, tugging Louis impossibly closer as he buried his nose in his husband’s short hair. Last night they had fallen into bed late, forgoing a shower until the morning. He could smell the lingering remains of yesterday’s aftershave and the dull magnolia of their shampoo in the silky strands. Underneath it all though, was a sleepy muskiness Harry knew to be just Louis. It wasn’t an amazing smell but it wasn’t terrible either. It was a comforting scent that made his heart beat just that little bit faster because it represented his life and marriage in a nutshell.