my suicide story

spinner.gif

hi...

This is my story...

It all started in 6th Grade... People started to call me: Fat, Ugly, Useless, Worthless...

I got problems at home with my mom and dad. They got divorced and didn't know about everything i was going through...

End off that year i couldn't take it anymore so i started cutting... I was thinking about suicide all the time. I though that i would be much better if i wouldn't be here anymore nobodys care so why would i stay?!

 

7th Grade..

I was going to High School i tought i could start again, fresh, making new friends, trying to be populair.

But again why was i thinking about all those things i would never be populair...

School was awfull i couldn't go one day to school without being called fat, ugly ete...

Summer vacation started but again they couldn't leave me alone... They sended me messages on facebook, called me to say those things to me...

I criedthe whole summer vacation...

One day i just had enough of everything. I listened to my favorite song while i wanted to atempt suicide. I failed i couldn't do it, i still reget it everyday i wish i did it...

I was scared to go back to school... But i needed to.

 

8th Grade...

was the year i wish could just go away from everthing. I hated myself more then they did...

My life was just a hell... i couldn't take it anymore. 

My mom was always mad at my since the day my brother got born he got all the attention for my mom he was an ''angel'', a gift.

And me i was just''piece of shit'', a nothing.

 

I went on summer camp nobody knew what i was going through i feeled for once happy no one got judged by someone everyone was treated the same way.

I mad some really good friends i told them where i was going through they understanted me they helped me through a lot. They just mean the world to me. It was the best two weeks i can

remember.

 

Then summer ended. I was going to the 9th Grade...

Again scared off what they would say to me, behind my back...

I made two friend, they don't know everything i've been going thourgh and where i'm still going through these days

I fake a smile everyday.

I keep my tears for at home so that they won't notice anything, that those people don't know that they broke me on the inside

I crie myself to sleep everyday

I have suicidal thoughts all the time

I think about how would people like my family, my friends from summer camp react?

Would they care?

Would those bullies think its their fault?

But most off all what would my mom think?

...

These days i still cut...

My two school friends don't know about it. I hope they never will.

There only one thing that keeps me stong these days and thats my thought about maybe everything will change? Maybe someone out there loves me for who i am?

But it will probably never change no one could love a girl with scars all over her body...

 

I have just one message for you:...

if you ever thought about suicide talk about it with someone pick all your courage to

because if you don't maybe no one will notice it you'll feel alone like i do

And NOBODY JUST NO ONE DESERVES IT!! YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL!!

 

I just feel like i'm not good enough...

And people always say it will be okay ignore them...

You know that every person who has suicidal toughts hates to hear that?! Ignoring them is not possible they just won't leave you or stop with what theire doing.

When someone tells me that i'm just like ,,You don't know me. Nobody knows me'' 

Lying tho those people who ask you about those scars if you did it to yourself and answering that it was your cat.

My life is a constant battle. A war between remembering and forgetting!

I just feel like nobody wants me around anymore...

I'm afraid because i know I can't fight forever.

For my friends i might seem strong, but i break.

Normal people just don't get what's like to wake up and wish you were dead.

 

One day my depression will win...

if you wanna talk i'm here for all of you 

ask.fm/woowluke

Comments & Reviews (38)

Login or Facebook Sign in with Twitter


library_icon_grey.png Add share_icon_grey.png Share

Who's Reading

Recommended