The Wonderful World Of Laughter

These will be long lasting... Unlike Kim Kardashian marriage....

Imagine if we could record our dreams into our pillow and then watch then when we woke up .

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be" I think people are starting to take it as a challenge

Monsters Inc 2 is coming out in 2013 move out of the way kids, i've been waiting 10 fucking years for this.

Adele may set fire to the rain, but spongebob can make a campfire underwater.

That awkward moment when you've already said "what?" three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.

Finding Nemo 2? Why the hell can't anyone keep up with this DAMN fish?!

A good neighbor is one that does not put a password on their wifi.

Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business.

I'm a lazy texter. Unless you're cute or I like you

World's shortest joke: "I do" by Kim Kardashian.

"Do me a favor?" "Does it involve me getting up?" "...Yes." "Then no.

Spongebob is absorbant. He lives at the bottom of a bikini. Conclusion, Spongebob is a tampon.

Looking more at yourself than at the other person while video calling on Skype.

This person I don't like changed her Facebook status to: "standing on the edge of a cliff", So I poked her.

iPhone= Eye Phone= Illuminati Phone. Siri spelled backwards is Iris, that's a part of the Eye. Apple is Illuminati. They are Watching You.

: If you wake me up, and I don't get angry, you must be pretty special.

i wonder how police on bikes arrest people. ?Alright, get in the basket...?

I wonder if all of the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'

If you think someone is staring at you: 1.Yawn 2. If they yawn, they were staring.

Saw a chinese kid and a black kid wave to each other today. Gave me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie.

"'Let's watch a scary movie!" * "Dude walk me to the bathroom..''

"So I heard you like bad boys?" "Yeaah ;)" "Well, i'm not trying to impress you or anything but I watch PG movies without Parental Guidance"

Teacher: "Did you study for the test?" Nerds: "All week long." Normal people: "I read the chapter." Me: "What test?!"

Charging your phone 5 minutes before you leave, because you think it will make a difference.

Mom: "You haven't moved since I left 5 hours ago?!" Me: "Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from?"

Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours.

*Doing an Exam* *Circles yes*

"If yes, please explain."

*Erases answer* *Circles no.*

My favorite text message: "i'll be there in 5 minutes. if not, read this again

Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman.. Then be Batman.

*When My Name's In A Math Problem* Class: *Stares At Me* Me: That's Right Bitches. I Bought 60 Watermelons.

*Knock Knock* "Who's there?" "Daisy" "Daisy who?" "Daisy me rollin, they hatin"

Simon says "jump" *everyone jumps* Simon didn't say land... you're all out! Wheres Jimmy? Jimmy: Fuck gravity! *flies away*

Parents: "How was school?" Me: "Okay" Parents: "Why do you always give me the same answer?" Me: "Why do you always ask the same question?"