The next few days just flew by. I was barely aware of what was up or down anymore. All I could think about now was Chase and his terminal cancer. It consumed my life. I would spend hours at a time in the local library researching everything I could about cancer. I wanted to find something that would tell me he was going to make it.
Anything at all.
If I wasn’t at the library, then I was in my room, isolated from the rest of society. I stayed in there as long as I could, not wanting to leave it. I hated the world. Why was my father the one who got cancer?
There were so many worse people in the world. Sure he hadn’t been there all the time, but thinking back, Chase had managed to stay in a good portion of my life until around three years ago.
The moment I realized that, I broke down in one of the worst fits I’d had since learning it. I’d always blamed him not loving me on why he wasn’t around, when in reality, it was because he had cancer.
I was horrible.
I spent a lot of time venting to Jason about this. He listened and tried as best he could to comfort me the first few hours, but after a while he realized I just had to get it out of my system.
And that’s what I did.
I spent almost all my time at home crying to Jason about this. I was a wreck. I could barely make it through the first half of the school day without running to the bathroom, sobbing.
Friday came and it took all the energy I had to drag myself out of bed. I walked into the bathroom, staring at the girl in the mirror.
She looked horrible.
Her eyes were red from the days spent crying. Her hair looked like a rat’s nest, knotted and tangled everywhere. Her skin was almost as pale as snow, her eyes giving off a blank look. She appeared to be more of a zombie than a human girl.
I shook my head, running a hand through my horrible hair. I turned the water on in the shower, not waiting for it to warm up.
The ice water hit my back, getting little response from me. I sucked in a deep breath and bared the pain until the water warmed.
I moved at a slow pace, dreading the day ahead.
Caden didn’t talk to me once Friday. He had left me alone all week. When I saw him in the hallway on Friday, he ignored me, walking at a quicker pace.
Later that evening, I found out he had called and canceled tonight, claiming to be sick. Mom was upset at first, but that didn’t stop her from going out regardless.
Saturday, Jason promised to take me to visit my father at the hospital.
I put an effort into making myself seem normal. I put make-up on for the first time in days, giving my face a brighter appearance. I did my hair up nicely and put on my nicest pair of casual clothes. I took my time doing everything, knowing this was the only thing keeping me distracted.